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Have you ever been called abrasive or unfeeling? Do you pride yourself on never getting angry? Do you feel that the problems others have are largely their own fault? Do you find it difficult to communicate? Do people leave your teams because of you? Do you experience conflict that never seems to get resolved? Would people say you have problems controlling your emotions? Do you frequently make jokes or use sarcasm? Do you find it difficult to work with people with a different background from yours? Do you find it difficult to focus when your spouse or coworkers are upset? Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers Glenn J. Thomas PMP, CDMP, CPM PMI Bluegrass February 2015 “…the application of knowledge, skills, tools and techniques to project activities to meet the project requirements.” “the art and science of doing something that has never been done before, by predicting the unknown, developing a plan to deal with the unknown, and by implementing tasks through people who don’t report to you, using resources that are limited and over which you have no control.” “the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer 1990 “the abilities to recognize and regulate emotions in ourselves and in others” Daniel Goleman and Gary Cherniss 1995 Emotional Competence Inventory 360 Eqi, the BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory The MSCEIT Emotional Intelligence Appraisal, Me Edition Index of Emotional Intelligence Six Second Emotional Intelligence Assessment PMP certification does not in itself make a PM more capable; it simply proves you have the requisite experience and can pass the multiple-choice certification exam. To be truly effective you need to be able to actually implement projects and work with your team. You cannot make up You cannot make up for a lack of for a lack of ‘Essential Skills’ ‘Soft Skills’ with with hard work hard work Develop stakeholder relationships that support the project’s success Anticipate and avoid emotional breakdowns Deal with difficult team members and manage conflict Leverage emotional information to make better decisions Communicate more effectively Create a positive work environment and high team morale Cast a vision for shared project objectives that will attract, inspire and motivate the project team Defined as “our ability to recognize our own emotions and their effects on us and others”. Focus on what we are feeling now. Self-awareness is the Starting Point for Emotional Intelligence. Miffed Irritated Resentful Upset Mad Furious Raging Excited Ecstatic Energetic Aroused Bouncy Nervous Perky Antsy Angry David E. Carson, Counseling and Self-Esteem, 1995 Inappropriate Humor Use of Sarcasm Passive Aggressive Behavior Playing the Victim Hostility Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses Be Reflective – Learn from Experience Open to Feedback Open to New Perspectives/Ideas Continuous Learning & Self Improvement Have a Sense of Humor Defined as “a strong sense of one’s selfworth and capabilities” Attributes: ◦ Present with self-assurance; have ‘presence’ ◦ Can voice unpopular views and go out on a limb for what’s right ◦ Decisive, able to make sound decisions despite uncertainties and pressures Not to be confused with arrogance Self Control is defined as “the ability to be in control of our emotions so they do not control us” Self Awareness must precede SelfManagement Angry Tirades Door Slamming E-mail Letter Bombs Withdrawal & Isolation Holding Grudges & Getting Even Criticizing Sarcasm & Inappropriate Humor Playing the Victim Moods and Attitudes of Others Pre-thinking or Foreshadowing Dwelling Personality Hot Words/Hot Buttons Perceived Criticism Physical Environment Illness or Physical Conditions Situations All or Nothing Thinking Always or Never Being Negative Filling in the Blanks ‘Should’ Statements Personalization and Blame Know Thyself HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) Reduce Your Stress Level Talk it Out with Someone Give Yourself a Time Out Write the Comments You Won’t Send Use Appropriate Humor Take Care of Yourself Defined as ‘the ability to understand the emotions of others’ Situations where PM needs Social Awareness: ◦ Verbal and Nonverbal Communications of Sponsor and Stakeholders ◦ Motivations of Team Members to Align w/ Project ◦ Improve Understandings of Stakeholder Politics ◦ Feedback and Constructive Criticism of Team ◦ Recognize and Address Hostility, Conflict, etc. “Don’t criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes” “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.” Self-Orientation Results First Tough Stuff We Are Smarter Than Others Solution - Empathetic Listening •Let Them Speak •Maintain Eye Contact •Give Your Full Attention •Playback and Summarize •Orient to Emotions •Try on Their Shoes •Suspend Your Judgment Ask “What Are They Feeling?” (SASHET) Awareness of Filters and Biases Stop Imposing Our Own Autobiography No Shortcuts for Efficiency (Pigeonhole) Improvement Techniques •Recognize Our Own Biases •Practice Studying Others •Use the Emotional Assessment Checklist Defined as ‘the ability to read the currents of emotions and political realities in groups’. PM Assessment for Organizational Awareness: ◦ Level 1 – Structure and Organization of the Company ◦ Level 2 – Company Inner Workings and How to do it ‘Informally’ ◦ Level 3 – Leverage Company and Client/Vendors and knows Key Decision Makers ◦ Level 4 – Knows Client’s Business Better than the Client. Defined as “where one person’s emotions end and another’s begins”. Emotional Boundary Issues ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ Take on Their Emotions Pleasing Others Victim-like Behavior (Just say ‘No”) Cannot Express Wants or Needs Improvement Techniques •Respond Appropriately •Take Responsibility •Let Them Be •You Cannot Fix Other People Improve Empathetic Listening Skills Find a Mentor Track Emotions During Team Meetings ID Emotional Red Flags in Others Mirror Emotions Track Your Own Emotions/Keep a Journal Learn About ‘Your People’ Dissect the Organizational Culture Assess Your Team and Yourself Practice Social Awareness During Movies Projects are a Team Effort PMs Often Lack Direct Authority PMs Compete for Resources PMs Need to Negotiate PMs are Communicators Strategically Establish Meaningful One-onOne Relationships that will: ◦ Increase the Likelihood of Project Success ◦ Provide Cushioning to Weather Project Storms ◦ Provide an Environment that is Personally Satisfying 4 Step Process: 1. 2. 3. 4. Identify Project Stakeholders Collect and Analyze Data About Them Develop Relationship Strategies Manage Ongoing Relationships The Direct Approach The Indirect Approach (Elevator Speech) “Talk to My People” (Gatekeeper) Keep Your Friends Close and …. Delegate Responsibility for the Relationship Regular One-on-One Meetings Customized Project Briefing Reports After-Hours Meetings Maintain an Action Log and Follow Up Lunch Meetings Rookie Mistake – Focus Only on Project Team PMBoK, Section 9.3, Develop Project Team Objectives: ◦ Increase Team Member Capabilities ◦ Teambuilding Tools and Techniques: ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ PM’s Interpersonal “Essential” Skills Formal & Informal Training of Team Team-Building Activities Ground Rules Co-location Recognition and Rewards Provide Your Reaction Saying No Using “I Like/I Dislike” Statements Using “I Need/I Want” Statements State Your Belief or Judgment Clear the Air Don’t Let Small Issues Fester Have Courage Communication – Be Intentional ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ Determine Your Objective (Why?) Understand Your Own Emotions Appropriate Time, Place and Mode Approach Others with Empathy Listen and Respond to Emotion not just Content Share Your Emotions when Appropriate Check for Understanding and Reactions Conflict is Inevitable Conflict may be Healthy Conflict Management is the PM’s Job Recognize that Conflict Exists Traditional Approaches: ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ Compromising Smoothing (Accommodating) Forcing Avoiding (Withdrawing) Confronting (Collaborating) Realize You Might Just Be The Cause Defined as ‘the ability to inspire others by casting a vision for the individual and the team”. Use Mission, Vision and Value Statements: ◦ Mission – What ◦ Vision – How ◦ Value Statements – Framework to Accomplish Techniques to Improve Team Communication Techniques to Improve Conflict Management Create Mission, Vision, Value Statements Cast a Vision for the Team Become a Talent Scout Systematic Screening and Hiring of Resources Address Team Strengths and Weaknesses Expand Your Support Base Interdependence Among Team Members Diversity of Team Members Mutual Respect Challenging Work Shared Common Goals Commitment of Everyone High Performance of All Members Synergy Among Members Lead by Example Be Optimistic Establish Team Values Enforce the Rules Stand Up to Management Hold Others Accountable Keep it Fun Recognize Individuals An Interesting Fact “Based on a decade of research with more than 500,000 people, … EI plays a key role in the success of individuals in the workplace. Interestingly, CEOs and top executives were found to have next to the lowest EQ scores (the lowest were the unemployed). Middle management and those working in customer service had the highest EQ scores..” Deborah Mackin Thank You [email protected] (502) 564-6265