Transcript Handout 5

THE POWER OF
GRATITUDE
If the only prayer you ever said was Thank You, that would be enough… Meister Eckhart
William Hale, Ph.D., LICDC-CS
Glenbeigh Hospital
Today We Will…
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Learn how the phenomenon of gratitude has been
manifested throughout history in various social and
religious contexts
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Explore how research on gratitude has shown its
importance in human relations and self-improvement
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Learn techniques for incorporating gratitude practice
in addiction treatment to enhance outcomes for clients
in recovery
Reflection…
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Think of a time when you felt truly grateful for something.
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It can be for anything – to anybody – at any time in your life.
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Remember what you felt at that time. What emotions did
you experience?
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Remember what you wanted to do in response to your
gratitude – for that person or anyone else.
In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only
with gratitude that life becomes rich... Dietrich Bonhoeffer
What is Gratitude?
The recognition of the unearned increments of
value in one’s life…
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Gratitude can be an emotion that we experience after receiving
something – a gift, help, anything.
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Gratitude is not a feeling of being indebted - when we owe
others, we can resent or avoid them. When we are grateful to
them, we want to be with them.
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The feeling of gratitude motivates us to turn it into action. We
are naturally inclined to pay it back or pay it forward.
Gratitude as the Parent of All Virtues
Roman Philosopher/Statesman Cicero stated:
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues,
but the parent of all others.
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People who are grateful for what has been given to them or done for
them tend to be more inclined to behave in beneficent, pro-social ways
toward the giver, and toward others.
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Expressions of true gratitude serve as reinforcement to those who have
behaved in beneficent, pro-social ways toward others, thereby
increasing the likelihood that they will act this way again.
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Simply stated: It motivates both giver and receiver to continue to do
good (moral) things.
Gratitude in Religion
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In Hinduism:
 Gratitude is highly valued and has two facets:
 One must be grateful for everything that is received, as it is a gift from God,
regardless of who gave it.
 One must never expect gratitude from another for something that has been
given (entitlement).
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In Buddhism,
 Gratitude is associated more with direct kindness from others, than from life
situations (although one should still feel appreciation for general life
blessings/circumstances).
 The more one’s life is expanded, the more one can feel grateful to those who
have enabled (taught/supported) that expansion.
 This gratitude to others (mentors, teachers, parents, etc.) for what has been
learned from them is felt and expressed any time one uses teachings.
 It can also be extended to adversaries who have taught one to survive and
grow in the midst of malevolence and challenge.
Gratitude in Religion
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In Judaism:
 Gratitude is seen as an essential component of worship and praise of God and an essential part of living one’s everyday life. It cannot be separated
from sacred or secular life, as it makes both what they are.
 Pervasive in the Old Testament Psalms, which are seen as songs of praise, and
guidelines for how to conduct one’s life in communication with God.
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In Islam:
 Sufi use the word Shukr (thankfulness) to refer to using all God’s gifts to
express gratitude by fulfilling the purpose of creation – beyond simple verbal
expression of thanksgiving.
 Gratitude is said to be rewarded by Allah with more blessings.
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In Christianity:
 Gratitude is seen as the base upon which thoughts and actions are formed.
 Thanksgiving to God is expressed in words, but also throughout the shaping
of one’s life. Becoming ‘Christ-like’ (reflecting Jesus’ teachings through
one’s life) is the expression of God’s greatest gift (Jesus Christ)
Gratitude and Karma
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Karma: The effects of the sum of one’s free-will actions (choices),
either influenced by intervention from God (Hinduism) or simply
through natural law of cause & effect (Buddhism).
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In Buddhism, Karma is seen as the cause side of the cause-effect
cycle. Any action of one’ own volition creates ideas which can
then grow into results under the appropriate circumstances.
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In Buddhist understanding, practicing (doing) gratitude can
create new ways of thinking about one’s life (attitude), thereby
inviting not only more good to oneself, but also looking differently
at what one has now.
Expressions of Gratitude
in Ancient Cultural & Religious Contexts
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American Thanksgiving Day is patterned after ancient
traditional rituals of honoring harvest/bounty…
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Sukkot (Jewish) Harvest Festival (Festival of Ingathering)
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Chung Ch'ui (Ancient Chinese) Harvest Moon Celebration
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Thesmophoria (Ancient Greek) Honoring Demeter
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Cerelia (Ancient Roman) honoring Ceres
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Lammas Day (Old English) Bread-Mass
St. Ignatius Loyola – The Saint of Gratitude
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Founder of the Jesuit Society
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Jesuits noted for their ‘Spiritual Exercises’ of
 Practicing Gratitude
 Expressing love and compassion for others
 Ignatius’ life was steeped in Gratitude
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Although a contemplative, his spirituality was
characterized by Action, rather than mere contemplation
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He was an Optimist – reframing negative as positive
The Three Graces
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Depictions of ancient Roman virgin goddesses, dancing in a circle , freely & serenely
with clasped hands.
Representation of the social phenomena of giving, receiving and returning gifts.
Each experience was considered to be a separate blessing, hence three separate
representative entities.
Benefits pass from giver to receiver and back to giver again – freely, quickly and in
a continuous flow.
Virginity represents purity of the acts – no hidden agendas or motives.
Youth represents the necessary freshness/timeliness of the response/flow.
Loose & minimal clothing represents the unrestricted flow of the process.
Interlocked fingers represent the unbroken circle of good will and giving/receiving.
The Two Gs of Gratitude
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Edward Arlington Robinson (American Poet):
There are two kinds of Grateful
 grateful - for what we receive / what has been
given to us
 Grateful - for what we give (the fruits of what we
are capable of creating)
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The second is more about gratitude for what we are able to
do (capacity) than about what we have done.
Gratitude as a Gift in and of Itself
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Acknowledgment of a benefit received is a gift returned
to the giver.
 It rewards the other person emotionally for his/her generosity.
 It strengthens the relationship between giver and receiver.
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Also, it is an additional gift to the receiver.
 Genuine gratitude expressed to others benefits us by:
1) Fostering positive emotions toward the other person.
2) Fostering positive emotions about oneself, by simply offering
the benevolent response, and by acknowledging one’s own
worthiness to receive a gift.
Gratitude as ‘Humbling Empowerment’
(Oxymoron? Not necessarily)
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Humbling…
 Expressing gratitude helps us fully receive what has been given
(affirmation, as well as the gift itself).
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Empowering…
 Expressing gratitude helps us recognize what we CAN give back to the
giver – even if all that is at the moment is a thank you… or paying it
forward - doing something for others, helping us to recognize the gifts
we have and can share… we become engaged in an interactive process.
Sadly, this excludes those with a narcissistic sense of entitlement, which prevents them
from participating in the joy of sharing gratitude…the best many of them can hope
for is a temporary baseline appeasement.
Entitlement and Expectations
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We live in a culture of “Me-ism”, where narcissism is reinforced.
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Especially manifested in personality of addicted people… not because
they are all narcissistic, but because they are seemingly desperate.
Many always felt ‘apart’ from the world, and never learned how to
simply be ‘a part’ of it.
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Learning to practice gratitude is crucial for those recovering from
active addiction. .. To help them learn to engage with life.
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Given the ephemeral nature of life and fragility of existence, we need
to remember this and help others to understand it …
We are ‘entitled’ to Nothing: Our next breath is a gift.
Learning to live in gratitude teaches us to reframe and appreciate life.
Gratitude as a Personality Trait
To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble,
but to live gratitude is to touch heaven… Johannes A. Gaertner
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People are naturally inclined to feel gratitude upon receipt
of gifts or help which are seen as having value. (State)
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However, in many people, gratitude reflects a natural
tendency to recognize and appreciate things which usually
go unnoticed. (Trait)
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This approach to gratitude is different from hope, trust or
optimism. It sets an attitude for seeing events in life – even
certain adversities – as gifts.
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Gratitude has one of the strongest links to mental health of
any character trait.
Components of Trait Gratitude
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Gratitude toward others (for being, not doing)
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Focus on what one has (instead of what one does not have)
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Feelings of Awe or Wonder
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Behavioral expressions of gratitude
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Living in the present moment
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Recognition that life is transient and appreciating each day
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Positive social comparisons (seeing how life could be worse)
Gratitude as a Life Orientation
There are only two ways to live your life. One is though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle… Albert Einstein
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More than a particular trait – a way of approaching life in
general . One’s mindset is that life is a gift.
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Gratitude is a very positive emotion. The practice of
nurturing positive emotions becomes self-sustaining and
self-reinforcing.
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The more we practice gratitude, the more we see the positive
results, and the more we are inclined to keep practicing it.
Gratitude as Propagator of
Increasingly Positive Emotions
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Broaden and Build Theory
 Positive emotions (including gratitude) propagate
positive attitudes, behaviors, and relationships, moral
reasoning, openness to others, and resilience.
 This, in turn, results in more positive emotions.
 Upward Spiraling: Positive begets positive.
The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best – therefore it tends to become the best.
It takes the form or character of the best, and will receive the best…
Wallace D. Wattles
Research on Gratitude and Well-Being
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A large body of research suggests that people who are
more grateful have greater levels of well-being.
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Among emotions and personality traits influencing wellbeing, gratitude was found to be particularly important –
perhaps uniquely so.
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Positive correlations between gratitude practice and
various manifestations of psychological well-being have
been noted in the research.
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Few studies exist which show the effects of gratitude on
ysicalph health. However, some studies suggest that it
reduces stress and improves quantity and quality of sleep.
Effects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-Being
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Gratitude is positively correlated with a sense of subjective wellbeing – High Positive Affect, Low Negative Affect & High
Satisfaction with Life
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Teens who grow up in a home where gratitude is practiced are
more likely to be happy, have life satisfaction, and less likely to
have behavioral problems (including substance abuse).
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Expression of gratitude in relationships is positively correlated
with higher quality of interactions and emotions in the
relationship.
Effects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-Being
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Gratitude is a strong predictor of lower risk of:
 Major depression
 Alcohol/Other Drug Abuse or Dependence
 Generalized Anxiety disorder
 Phobias
 Bulimia
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Gratitude is also strongly related to overall mood and
sense of satisfaction in life. The more we express gratitude,
the happier we tend to be overall.
Effects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-Being
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Grateful people tend to have more positive coping strategies.
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Grateful people tend to feel higher levels of control in their
environment and their lives.
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Grateful people are less likely to deny or avoid problems, and
more likely to deal with them directly and effectively.
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Grateful people tend to have more self-acceptance.
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They tend to see more purpose in their lives.
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They tend to have less negative thoughts and more positive
outlooks on life in general.
Effects of Religiously-Oriented Gratitude
on Psychological Well-Being
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Gratitude was more strongly predictive of lower
levels of psychopathology than other variables of
religiosity.
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PTSD – Lower levels of gratitude, but gratitude
interventions improve their daily functioning
regardless of level of PTSD symptoms.
Portals to Gratitude
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Blessings
 Those situations, people or experiences which are considered good in
our lives – for which we can give thanks.
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Learnings
 Often coming in the form of challenges (physical, existential,
intellectual, emotional) from which we grow and change.
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Mercies
 Receiving acts of kindness and compassion when none may seem to
be warranted.
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Protections
 Feelings of being safe – either bestowed by other persons or by
deities/other religious entities - can invoke gratitude.
Obstacles to Gratitude
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Entitlement
 Self-absorption / Belief we are ‘owed’ what we want in life.
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Victimhood
 Life view of having been wronged – and living accordingly, rather than
taking responsibility for personal change.
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Rugged Individualism
 Lacking an understanding of one’s place in community – refusal to accept
one’s interdependence with others.
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Materialism
 When one’s focus in life is primarily on obtaining things, the capacity for
gratitude is diminished. The void cannot be filled.
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Taking Things for Granted
 Living on the assumption that situations will always be as they are.
(Nothing can make one appreciate one’s health like a serious illness.)
Obstacles to Gratitude
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Manipulation
 Someone whose relationships are built on manipulation cannot relate to free
exchange of gifts – everything is a negotiation. The cannot feel grateful.
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Suffering
 Extreme suffering can block the possibility of gratitude (at the time it is
present). When suffering dissipates, gratitude can arise upon reflection.
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Amnesia
 Allowing grateful memories to fade invites emptiness and self-pity, while
reducing the likelihood that we will continue to practice gratitude.
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Lack of Reflection
 Overly busy and stressed, we can easily move gratitude meditation from our
priority list. (We forget to remember.)
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Negative Moods
 Negative moods can become our focus and we can forget to shift attention to
what is right in our experience.
If Gratitude is the Parent of all Virtues,
as Cicero said, what about its Opposite?
St Ignatius Loyola, the Saint of Gratitude,
had this to say about Ingratitude:
In the light of divine goodness, it seems to me that ingratitude is the most
abominable of sins and that it should be detested in the sight of
our Creator…
It is a forgetting of the graces, benefits, and blessings received, and as
such it is the cause, beginning and origin
of all sins and misfortunes.
That said, could Ingratitude can be thought of as the
Parent of all “Character Defects” ?
To answer this, simply consider what Ingratitude fosters in our lives…
The CAPACITY for Gratitude
as an Existential Gift
We can reflect, list, and feel grateful for all the increments of
unearned value in our lives. We can also reap the benefits of
doing so…without truly looking at the prime source from which
this phenomenon arises:
Having the Capacity to Be Grateful.
Being able to feel and express gratitude is a gift itself.
Capacity for gratitude is expanded with grateful practice –
even where it seemingly did not exist before.
(Doing gratitude increases capacity for gratitude.)
Some Things to Remember…
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Gratitude helps us attract what we want. When we are truly
grateful and expressing it, we are more likely to continue to
receive positive things in life.
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Gratitude improves relationships. Showing genuine
appreciation helps others to feel better about us, and helps us to
feel better about them.
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Gratitude reduces negativity. Positive feelings replace negative
ones. Positive actions (doing gratitude) can result in more
positive feelings.
Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity. It must be produced and discharged and used up
in order to exist at all… William Faulkner
Gratitude teaches us new ways of Thinking & Perceiving
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Practicing gratitude can help us open our minds to the possibilities of
any situation. It can allow us to explore new ways of responding to
our situations and to others.
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It can help us look for the positives in a seemingly negative situation.
(Recovery from a traumatic experience is influenced by the ability to
derive some long-term benefit from it.)
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Try this…
 Imagine a negative experience in your life (situation/person).
 Use your imagination to find one positive thing about it.
 How can dealing with that situation/person bring a lesson to your life?
(Patience – Resilience - Acceptance)
 Imagine feeling grateful for that.
 How could that change your perspective about the problem?
The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent
that it changes the world that you see ... Robert Holden
Any Experience can be Reframed as a Gift
If not now…then later
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Here is the gift of Sadness. What can I learn from it?
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Here is the gift of Anger. What can I learn from it?
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Here is the gift of Fear. What can I learn from it?
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Here is the gift of Loss. What can I learn from it?
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Here is the gift of Craving. What can I learn from it?
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What lessons can I take from my experiences – regardless of how
painful they may be at the time – to enhance my recovery…and my life?
While you did not invite it into your life, it is here.
How do you want to reframe it so that its lesson is a gift?
Gratitude in Action
As we express our gratitude we must never forget the highest appreciation
is not to utter words, but to live by them … John F. Kennedy
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Remember: Gratitude is much more than a feeling…
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It is a Choice (attitude).
 It is an Action (response).
 It becomes a Habit (when practiced regularly).
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Consider all the things you can do to show your gratitude
to others (even if you do not feel it yet).
Do something positive for someone who has done
something for you.
Pay it forward – Do something positive for someone else
when the same has been done for you.
Gratitude in Positive Psychology
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it…
William Arthur Ward
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Gratitude is a principle component in practice of Positive
Psychology – considered a primary strength to be developed for
an emotionally healthier life.
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DOing gratitude – keeping a gratitude journal, writing gratitude
letters, actively planning / implementing behavioral ‘thankyous’ helps us to reverse our focus from Negative to Positive.
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Gratitude actions help to refocus not only our energy
expenditure, but over time, our attitudes also.
Gratitude Visits
in Positive Psychology Practice
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Write a letter of appreciation to someone who has had a positive
impact on your life.
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Schedule a visit with that person, if possible.
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If not, plan a phone call when that person has time to talk.
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Read the letter to that person, them give it to him/her.
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Of all Positive Psychology interventions, research has shown this
one to be the most effective in helping people feel better about
themselves and enhancing relationships with others.
A Grateful Heart
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HeartMath Institute:
 The heart has significant influence on brain/body function.
 We can change the rhythm of our heart via shift of focus.
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“Heart Lock-In” Technique:
 When upset about something, focus on your heartbeat
(rhythm/rate).
 Think about someone/something in your life for which you
are truly grateful.
 Notice changes occurring in heartbeat.
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Positive emotions compete with and can ‘undo’ negative emotions,
and can change physiological responses when practiced regularly.
Gratitude as Reflection
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Naikan
 Self Reflection exercise developed within Jodo Shinshu (Shin)
Buddhism by a 20th century Buddhist businessman
 Process of deep inward reflection on one’s relationships with others.
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Three questions are asked in meditation:
 What have I received from someone?
(gratitude)
 What have I given/done for someone ? (Gratitude)
 How may I have caused this person to suffer?
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Practice is taught in Naikan Centers throughout Japan
Used in counseling, addiction treatment, prisoner rehabilitation, and
school/business retreats.
The Importance of Gratitude in Recovery
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Helps to keep the recovering person grounded in reality.
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Helps the recovering person to see life from new perspectives.
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Helps the recovering person to recognize potential positives
in negative events which would have fostered self-pity before.
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Enhances the recovering person’s mood and basic well-being.
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Motivates the recovering person to give back or pay forward.
Gratitude is the intention to count your blessings every
day, every minute, while avoiding, whenever
possible, the belief that you need or deserve
different circumstances.
Timothy Miller
When we actively and intentionally identify what we have in our
lives, without focusing on what we do not have, our perceptions
and our emotional states change.
Remember: When we change the way we look at things…
the things we look at change.
A Simple Gratitude List
(Change as Needed)
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What part of my life brings me the most joy or appreciation?
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What am I looking forward to today?
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How can I be of maximum service today in some small way?
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How can I be the best person I can be today?
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What do I appreciate most about my relationship with
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What step can I take today in the direction of my own growth?
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Who can I help today?
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What is one of my greatest character traits?
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How can I allow that character trait to benefit others?
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What will doing this exercise do to support my own recovery?
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How to Use the Gratitude List
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Answer the preceding questions.
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Now, reflect on your answers, and allow yourself to feel
good about these things.
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If any answers involve others in your life, thank those on the
list you can today. Thank the others as soon as you can.
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Do this every day for 2 weeks.
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See how your perspective on your life can change.
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See how your mood and sense of well-being can improve,
and how your actions toward self and others change.
Making Gratitude a Conscious Practice
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In order to make gratitude a central part of our lives, we
must make it a conscious activity in which we engage on a
regular basis. It will not become habit on its own.
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The ease with which we slip into old stress routines parallels
the ease with which we let any gratitude practice slip away.
Coping with the daily fires that need to be extinguished
becomes the priority.
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In order to make any new practice real, meaningful and
consistent, it needs to be scheduled into our day – just as
meditation practice.