Parents: Partners in Enhancing Resiliency Overseers Board Meeting

www.stayingstrong.org

Home Base Program, Dir. Family Program Massachusetts General Hospital

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Based on the PACT Model

Family

Developmental Stage

Community

Challenge Temperament

Resiliency Models

• Recognize the protective factors • Amplify and expand factors that can be changed • Provide practical information to caregivers • Improve the experience for every child •

The responsibility for resilience resides in the family and community, not in the child

Triad of Protective Factors

• • • Positive temperament (sociable, flexible, related)

Family warmth and primary caregiver attunement Social support

surrounding the child and family – Microanalysis of stress affected vs stress resilient children (Kilmer et al, 2001)

StayingStrong.org

• Video based parent guidance tool • Builds on parenting skills • Over 2 hours of short videos • Video content – Visitor’s Guide – 3 Parenting principles videos – 4 child development videos – 8 military family stories • Narration • Animation • Specific parent guidance feedback

Parent Coach

• Staying Strong is designed to be watched alone or with a partner, friend or counselor • Caring connection increases learning capacity, especially when emotions are high • Ex. Bucket of ice story

Parent Guidance

• Two heads are better than one • Two heads

plus

two hearts are much better than two heads alone • Guidance (education) in the context of a relationship is much more effective • Ultimately caring

action

is essential 6

Development is like a long hike up a series of hills

Every child has a backpack to carry Mood Adjustment Worries Physical Health Anxiety Learning Challenges Attention Friends Family

Parents

Can

Lightening the Load • Parents know their children • Parents love their children • Parents are trusted by their children • Parents travel with their children

PACT Principles

• Parents are the experts on their own children • Parents want and need the tools to parent at challenging times • Children want their parents to be the guides • Practical guidance is essential

Confusion is the enemy of coping

Parent Coaching

• Rangers on the developmental trail – Teachers – Coaches – Extended family – Counselors – YOU “First responders” are trained to notice when a child is slipping or falling on the climb

Special Strengths

• Self reliance • Strong family values • Computer/internet access • Caring communities of support • Wish to serve others

www.StayingStrong.org

Landing Page

• Brief welcome video • Link to “thank you’s” • Click ID box (parent, student, professional) • New user or return visitor • Will ask for email (voluntary) – #1 reason is to help us get feedback – Also can opt to get the Home Base Program newsletter

Staying Strong

.StayingStrong.org

• Parent directed learning • Starts with the Visitor’s Guide • Choose from: – 3 Parenting Principles Videos – 4 Stage of Development Videos – 8 Family Stories with Guidance – Home Base Community Center

Watch or visit in any order

Parenting Principles

• The Developmental Climb Video (PACT) • Explains that each child is climbing with individual challenges plus the regular challenges at that age (backpack) • Targets the role of loving parents in supporting a child’s resilience • Touches on the importance of finding ways to relax and de-stress

Parenting Principles

• Talking with Your Child or Teen (video) • Explains why communicating is key to enhancing resiliency • Listening>Talking • Being mindful of words and “music” • Skill based

Parenting Principles

• Facing Challenges Together (video) • •

Challenge

: Difficult situation without a quick fix – Faced with the support of connected caring others – Builds important life skills – Results in greater self confidence and courage

Traumas

: Difficult situation without a quick fix – Surprise or out of control feeling – Faced feeling alone, isolated and helpless – Results in greater fear and insecurity

Underscores the risks of unidentified small “t” traumas

Stage of Development

Stages

• Preschool • Elementary • Middle School • High School • Each video has a parent worksheet – Reviews key points – “Stop and Reflect”: Asks parents to identify behaviors and ideas for new approaches

8 Military Family Stories

• 10 minute videos • Narrator describes the family • Animation of a parent talking about their child with viewer seeing mostly the child • Feedback targeted to the parent’s concern – Addresses child’s temperament – Offers targeted parenting strategies – Suggests ways to connect with the school

8 Military Families: Diverse

• Deployment status • Family constellation • Ethnicity • Branch of service • Different temperaments • Different challenges

Preschool Families

• Shy Allie – Only child – Mother is back from deployment – Allie has increased separation anxiety • Active Doug – New baby brother – Father back from deployment – Doug is more aggressive at preschool

Elementary Families

• Prickly Heidi – Youngest of three – Father will be deploying soon – Mother is worried about parenting her temperamentally challenging child solo • Sensitive Matt – Younger brother (father has a teenage son) – Father will be deploying soon – Mother is worried about his anxiety

Middle School Families

• Reserved Bettina – Only child, parents divorced – Her father is deployed – Her mother is worried that she doesn’t talk and that she won’t know if there are problems • Carefree Pete – Second of four children – His father is deployed – His mother is worried about his lower grades

High School Families

• Social Whitney – Younger sister, older brother married – Her father has returned with PTS – Her mother is worried about father and daughter not re-connecting • Alienated Terry – Younger brother, mother and step father – His older brother has recently deployed – His mother is worried about how isolated and misunderstood he feels at school

When to Worry

• Each family story highlights some warning signs to encourage professional help • Parents are always encouraged to trust their own judgment and NOT to worry alone • This website does not offer medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and should never replace professional assessment and care

Home Base Community Center

• Video connected activities and worksheets • Family Activities • Parenting information • School connected materials • Other resources and more • Monthly Family Feature • Community Conversation Forum

Evaluation is Important

• Who is entering and why • Immediate feedback on each video – 4 star rating: unhelpful<****> very helpful – Would you recommend this to a friend • End of visit feedback: Overall experience • Email in 1-3 months: Lessons used/useful

Doing our best, until our best gets better

Some Special Challenges

• Community dispersion of the National Guard and Reserves • Siblings of service members • Limited access to resources in some locations • Broader definition of family than the health insurance definition

10 worriers: 1 warrior

Applied Resiliency Support

• Parent Guidance Model • Easily Adapted to Guiding Teachers, Coaches, etc. (Adults with continued connections with the child) • Partnership (Lived Experience + Professional Experience) • Access to targeted support (ex. analgesic use)

Support the Parents

• Address mental health issues • Identify the “Go-To” support people – Emotional Support – School related concerns – Financial guidance – Health concerns – Child care support

Staying Strong 4 Educators • Staying Strong: How Schools Build Resiliency in Military Families • 25 minute documentary following 2 families during the father’s deployment and return and their attuned elementary school community

Head + Heart + Hand • Quality information • Enhanced by caring relationship • Practical recommendations

– Free – Accessible – Engaging

www.StayingStrong.org

Thank

you • [email protected]

• Chat forum • www.homebaseprogram.org