Transcript Discursive Writing using exemplar

Ban the Burqa in Britain? No Thanks.


Read the introduction
Identify three features that make this an
effective introduction.


Having read the whole article, sum up the
writer’s stance in a single sentence.
Sum up your own stance in a single sentence.



Your essay must have a clear, logical
structure, which reflects the development of
your argument.
You must deal with one point per paragraph.
You must deal with arguments both
supporting and counter to your argument.


Clearly indicate the topic of the paragraph it
is introducing.
From paragraph three onwards, they should
also link back to the topic of the previous
paragraph.



Topic of paragraph two- banning the burqa
could encourage extremism
Topic of paragraph three- the burqa makes
Europeans feel uncomfortable, but this is not
a good reason to ban it.
Extremism aside, the veil is a garment that
makes many Europeans feel uncomfortable,
for the simple reason that it is not Europeans.




Highlight the topic sentence in each
paragraph.
This should give you a basic plan for this
essay.
You should already have have completed your
own basic plan.
This should include five points supporting
your arguments and two opposing
arguments.

Write topic sentences for the first three
paragraphs after your introduction.



Clear point made in your topic sentence (from
paragraph three onwards this should include
linkage)
Expand this point using evidence,
explanations, statistics.
Use features of style- rhetorical questions,
varied sentence structure, imagery,
appropriate tone, effective word choice.



Read your allocated paragraph
Make a note of all the ways in which the
writer illustrates their point.
Paragraph two- explanation of how the belief
that the burqa breeds extremism is mistaken;
clear explanation of how in fact banning the
burqa could lead to extremism.





Rhetorical questions- Surely it is time that
this sorry saga is brought to an overdue end?
Tri-colon- It is immature, thoughtless and
unacceptable.
Use of personal pronouns- this is something
that we cannot allow to continue in our
society.
State opinion as fact- This is clearly
unacceptable.
Imperatives – Surely this is unacceptable.




Sentence structure
Word choice
Imagery
Tone






Variety of simple and complex sentences.
Short sentences for brevity or emphasis.
Long sentences to suggest an overwhelming
amount or extreme duration.
Use of colons to introduce examples/ lists /
explanations.
Use of semi-colons to balance points/ divide
items in a complex list.
Use of parenthesis for asides / to give
additional information.


Repetition to stress key words or phrases /
suggest a monotonous experience.
Rhetorical Questions to involve the reader.

Power is abused in our name by governments and
transnational corporations around the world: they
fight illegal wars; abuse and kill people; pillage
property and planet. The powerful accumulate
wealth and force the majority – the rest of us – to
pay for it: with our health, our freedom, our time,
our money and with our lives. For a long time, we
have been deceived about the reasons for this: it is
our right for the truth to be known. Without that
right, democracy cannot and does not exist. The
current assault on WikiLeaks is yet another
instance of democracy-hating by elites.

One reason given for banning Orange Walks
is that there are far too many of them. People
have complained that they are on almost
every week. The number of walks increases
every year, they claim.



Tri colon: series of three parallel words,
phrases, or clauses. It's a simple enough
structure, yet potentially a powerful one.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that
all men are created equal, that they are
endowed by their Creator with certain
unalienable Rights, that among these are Life,
Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.“
American Declaration of Independence




Alcohol abuse in Scotland leads to broken homes,
violent streets and early deaths.
Scottish football looks on enviously at it
glamorous, rich and popular neighbour.
WikiLeaks are looking to support truth, freedom
and democracy.
Consumption of drugs is rife in Britain today;
hundreds of thousands of clubbers choose ecstasy
to accompany their weekend; heroin refuses to
loosen its grip on vast numbers of addicts;
smokers now light up in their designated outside
areas.

Write a tri colon which illustrates a point in
your essay.






Do not use too many.
Keep them short
Type one- recent quotation from someone
directly discussing this topic.
Introduce the person.
You may even wish to paraphrase some or all
of what they say.
Analyse the importance of what they say.

Author Denise Mina says though people are often
appalled by what she puts in her crime fiction, at
least they can put it down. She thinks EastEnders’
cot death plot may indeed have been too dark.
“People watch Corrie and EastEnders with one eye
on the tea,” she says, “so maybe it’s too heavy for
that.” This underlines that there is indeed a place
for dealing with the darker aspects of humanity.
However, an early evening light entertainment
vehicle is not it.



Point: The Eastenders storyline is not nearly
as crass and insensitive as made out.
Quote: “As ludicrous as some of the twists
were ... at the story’s centre was a grief much
more understated than the hype would have
you expecting, and one that felt very
authentic.”
Source: Alex Hardy in The Times



Use these to help identify a line of thought
/argument, rather than illustrate it.
Demonstrate the correlation with your topic.
As former US president Thomas Jefferson
once stated, "information is the currency of
democracy". Democracy – the rule of the
people – as currently understood and
practiced is, and has long been, severely
restricted.




Try to use some facts and figures.
Don’t overload your essay with them.
They should illustrate/ support your point.
Ensure that you analyse the information.

One aspect of social networking that cannot
be debated is its popularity: in the UK alone,
a staggering twenty five million people are
now registered with the Social Networking
site; in the world there are an 500 million
“Facebookers.” This latter figure becomes all
the more overwhelming when we consider
that it is one hundred times larger than the
whole population of Scotland.


Point: The British taxpayers will have to pay a
large amount towards the Royal Wedding.
Numbers: between 20 and 80 million.



Decide on one point from your essay.
Expand it into a paragraph.
Use at least two features of style.