Transcript Workshop on: Self-Esteem & Self Image

Workshop on:
Self-Image & Self-Esteem
Exploring Body Confidence & Self-Image Truth
[Credits to Dove® Self-Esteem Fund & Dove® Real Beauty]
{Based on materials developed by Dr. Susie Orbach & Dr. Nancy Etcott at
Harvard University and beat, the UK’s eating disorder charity.}
(Adapted by MATTHEW 25:34-40 Ministries with permission.)
The Facilitator of this workshop must not solicit funds for its conduct.
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Every Day… (In North America)
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(Similar statistics for Europe)
5388 youths are arrested
4210 teens get a sexually transmitted disease (STD)
3610 teens are assaulted; 80 are raped
2861 drop out of school
1377 teen girls become mothers; 1106 get an abortion
1000 begin drinking; 500 begin using drugs; 420 get
arrested for drug use
6 commit suicide
3 factors lead to these facts: lack of fatherly
leadership, lack of TRUTH, & poor self-image
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What Is This Workshop All About?
• To provide understanding about
issues that impact our self-image
• To help you develop skills for
positive self-esteem and body
confidence God’s way.
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Girl Facts
• Over 70% of girls avoid certain activities because they
feel badly about their looks. This impacts their
behavior. For example:
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25% will not go to a social event, party, or club
20% will not give an opinion
16% will not go to school unless forced to
15% will not go to a doctor
• 92% of girls say they want to change at least 1 aspect of
their physical appearance – weight is the #1 factor they
want to change
• 25% of college-aged women have an eating disorder
• 40-50% of women are on a diet at any point in time;
over 90% diet at some time during the year.
Source: ‘Beyond Stereotypes’; Dove Global Study 2005
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Over 6 of 10 Teenage
Girls Think They
Would Be Happier If
They Were Thinner
53% of 13 year olds
67% of 15 year olds
78% of 17 year olds
91% of 19 year olds
are unhappy about
their body; primarily
weight issues.
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Source: UK Body
Image Survey
January 2004
Bliss Magazine
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Boy Facts
• Looking at video gaming magazines makes boys
want to get more muscles.
• Physical appearance is as important to boys as it
is to girls of the same age.
– Look of strength, success, prosperity, in control
– (Source: University of Illinois Study, Professor Kirsten
Harrison, 181 boys, average age 8.8)
• 1 in 5 boys are willing to take steroids to build
body mass even if they are medically harmful and
illegal.
– 7% of 12th grade males have taken steroids (illegally)
– (Survey by the Association of Student Athletes, 2008)
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Poor Body Image Influences
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Cultural icons (sports figures, movie stars, etc.)
Magazine advertisements
TV programs & advertisements; Movies
Examples in admired adults (especially parents)
Casual comments from parents & siblings
Toys and amusements
Comments from peers (often influenced by the
above)
• i.e. – The culture and home.
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Models & Actors/Actresses
• Widely portrayed in the media.
• Less than 50% of the body fat of normal healthy
women. (Source: British Medical Association, 2000)
• Thinness is further accentuated by video & photo
editing (already thin models are made to look
even thinner than they are)
• In 1930, models & actresses reflected average
women in height & weight
– In 2007, average woman in USA is 162 cm & 64 kg;
the average model is 180 cm (11% taller) & 53 kg
(17% lighter)
– The media even accentuate these already great
differences
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What We Will Be Doing
1. Understanding what “Positive self-esteem”
and “Positive body confidence” mean as
components of self-image
2. Understanding what affects them self-image
3. Improving our self-esteem and self-image
skills.
4. Seeking to see ourselves as God sees us (i.e.,
develop a true self-image).
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Some Ground Rules
• No one will force you to speak, but all are
encouraged to participate
• Everyone’s point-of-view counts – we want to
hear what everybody says.
• Let’s show respect by:
– Listening to other’s opinions
– Being non-judgmental
– Putting our hands up to speak
– If we hear something private, let’s keep it private.
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What do positive self-esteem & body
confidence mean
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Answers Include:
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Knowing & liking yourself
Being happy to be you
Accepting your body like it is
Not being self-conscious about your body
Holding your head up high about the way your
body is.
• Looking at your body the way God looks at
you.
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Were You Born With Self-Esteem?
• Hands up if you think you were born with a
certain amount of self-esteem.
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Research Shows:
• Self-esteem develops during childhood.
• Most cultures diminish our self-esteem or
encourage false expectations of self-image.
• Cultural influences emphasize your physical
attributes; God emphasizes your character.
• Self-image becomes more difficult to change as
we become older – but it is never too late.
• All of us can learn how to strengthen it and turn
negative self-esteem into positive self-image.
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Activity 1.1 – Self-Esteem Supports
• Objective: to understand what builds self-esteem
by identifying the things that that make us feel
good.
– We can support ourselves when times are hard
• Instructions: think about what makes you feel
good about yourself & builds your self-esteem.
– Be as specific as possible
– Think about specific activities, places, times of day,
past-times, and people.
– Place them as ‘bricks’ under YOU (add more bricks as
needed)
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YOU
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Self-Esteem Supports
• Did you know?
– Laughter is scientifically proven to make you feel
good. (The Bible contains many commandments;
among the most frequent are, “be glad” “be joyful”
and “rejoice (in the Lord) always”)
– Sports may give you a different and more positive
feeling about your body
• Why do you think this is so?
– Activities at which you excel make you feel good
– Applause makes you feel good
• Are all of the things that make you feel good
always good for you? – discuss this.
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True & Good Self-Image Supports
1. We are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27). This
means we are:
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Spiritual beings, not merely physical
Our True (& most important) image is spiritual – we are
intended by God to reflect His character in our lives; i.e., we
are to be true, truthful, good, perfect, beautiful, and fulfilling of
His good purposes.
God formed our physical being in our uniqueness according to
His good purposes in our mother’s womb.
2. The image of God has been corrupted in us by sin, but God
sent His Son, Jesus to redeem us from sin.
3. Our culture is not redeemed from sin, so many cultural
influences are not true. Culture emphasizes conformity.
God emphasizes individuality and love for each other.
4. Seeing ourselves as God sees us gives us a good selfimage. God loves us as individuals.
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Good & Bad Self-Image Supports
• Laughter is good when founded in spiritual joy
• Sports may be good because:
– Sports help to develop a healthy body
– Give you activities in which you can succeed & excel
– Winning at any cost is bad
• Excelling in a sport (or any other activity) can cause
you to loose your image in the activity
• Applause for truthful meritorious achievement is good
– Seeking the approval of men can be spiritually dangerous.
• The approval of men is temporary & may reflect sinful purposes
• Seeking the approval of men will corrupt your character. (See John
12:42-43)
– Seek first the approval of God; God will give you approval
in the eyes of men. (See Proverbs 3:3-4.)
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Activity 2.1 – How Would You Feel?
• Objective: to explore how media imagery can make us
feel.
• Instructions: In pairs, look at pictures you have brought
in to illustrate people who show “real beauty.” Imagine
that you really do look like one of these people. How does
that make you feel? Circle 3 words describing how
would feel and underline 3 words that you would not
feel.
• Able Beautiful Caring Funny Happy
Loved Natural Proud Serious Smart
Strong Successful Unusual Witty
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Angelina Jolie – Perfection?
• The Oscar-winning actress would to seem to
have it all, what with a successful career and
Brad Pitt by her side. (Engaged 8-2012)
• But she has said, “I struggle with low selfesteem all the time. I think everybody does. I
have so much wrong with me, its
unbelievable. (March 2008)
• Why might she feel this way?
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Media Impacts
• There are 3 billion women in the world who do not
look like supermodels.
• There are 8 who do.
• What kinds of companies benefit from making us feel
our bodies are imperfect?
– Gyms
– Diet industry (US spends $40 Billion on dietary products)
– Tobacco industry (up to 70% of women smokers do so in
order to lose weight; more than 25% will die of a smokingrelated disease)
– Plastic surgeons
– Cosmetics (make-up), skincare, hair-care, perfume, etc.
companies
– Drug dealers – 70% of women addicts started because of
poor body image.
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Plastic Surgery – Who Gains?
• Some people hope surgery will fix something that
does not feel right inside.
– Unfortunately, most continue feel unhappy after
surgery; many feel less happy.
• The plastic surgery industry is booming around
the world
– In 2007, the USA spent over $13 Billion on 11.7
million cosmetic surgeries and procedures like Botox.
Over 91% are performed on women. (Source: American
Society for Aesthetic and Plastic Surgery)
• It is easy to feel tempted to get plastic surgery.
What kinds of problems can it really solve?
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Exploring Media Imagery
• Objective: to explore why
images may be manipulated
by the media.
• Spot the differences – Kate
Winslet, star of the movie
“Titanic”
• Which images (1-6) are real
& which are manipulated?
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Fabricating Beauty Film
• Objective: to understand the reality behind
media imagery
• Instruction: Watch the film. What do you find
most surprising?
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Even Models Don’t Look Like Models
• Cindy Crawford, one of the world’s top models
commented, “Even I don’t wake up looking
like Cindy Crawford.”
• “The media greatly distorts who I am”
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Activity 2.4 – Playing With Beauty
• Objective: to explore how toys may shape our
thoughts on body shape
• Consider Barbie, Ken, & GI Joe – dolls from Mattel.
• Barbie’s waist is the same diameter as her head
• Her neck is twice as long as normal for a human
• Her legs are 50% longer than her arms; for a normal
human, they are 20% longer
• Ken’s body is 7 times more muscular than average
males. Only professional body builders are as
muscular; GI Joe has larger biceps than any body
builder in history.
• Are these just fun inspiring dolls or are they
distorting children’s view of the body? Why do you
think Ken, GI Joe, & Barbie are made this way?
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Building a True Self-Image
• See yourself as God sees you – it’s the only true you
– You are His uniquely blessed creation
– God is truth – His view of you is truthful
– You deserve to be loved & respected as God does
• God has a unique special purpose for your life that is
part of fulfilling His divine plan.
• Identify & cherish your God-given traits
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Your unique personality, talents, gifts, passions, etc.
The things that give you joy & Godly pleasures
How you like to love & receive love
How you like to give & receive forgiveness
The things that make you righteously angry
The deeds of generosity or compassion you enjoy doing
The behavioral traits that others enjoy in you
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Building a True Self-Image (2)
• Identify messages you get from others that are
inconsistent with your God-given traits
• Write reminders of the truthful things in your life
• Deny the lies from the culture & from others
• Cite Bible passages wherever you can to remind
you of God’s viewpoint
• Remember: your character is what is most
beautiful in you. Build Godly character attributes
– Good behavior
– Good deeds
– Truthful speech cloaked in love, respect, & grace
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Activity 3.1 – The Power of Words
• Objective: to appreciate how spoken words can negatively
or positively affect our self-esteem
1. How do these statements make you feel?
a. Your mother says, “You’re not going out like that!”
b. Your dad says, “Act your age.”
c. Your brother says about your new friend, “Everyone says he
is a loser.”
d. A teacher says, “I expect more from someone your age”
e. Your friend says, “I enjoy spending time with you, but I
could never live with you.”
f. Someone teases you by saying, “You’re fat” or “You’re
skinny”
2. What was the person trying to say?
3. How could they have been rephrased more respectfully?
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Impact Relationships
• You are right to expect that those who are close to you in
relationships should accept you as you are.
– People who love you want you to be healthy
– But some who love you want you to be “better” – meaning more
conformed to cultural expectations
– Not everybody who loves you expresses themselves with grace &
respect – be careful not to misinterpret what people are saying or to
read too much meaning into what they say
– Not everybody who is in close relationship with you loves you
• They may be too busy loving themselves
• They may be too spiritually injured to express love
• They may not have the capacity to love.
• It hurts when our expectations are not met
• If none of us had sin natures, there wouldn’t be a problem – but all
of us do.
• The only relationship we have that will be true, loving, accepting,
& graceful is the one you can have with God in Jesus Christ.
• Listen carefully to the Word of God
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Activity 3.2 – Unfinished Sentences
• Objective: to practice building the self-esteem of
others
• Instructions:
– Pair off. (you don’t need to know the other person)
– Complete these unfinished sentences for your partner.
(You may cite their character, appearance, behavior,
interests, etc. as long as you are truthful & respectful)
• One of the things I like about you is…
• A really individual thing about you is…
– When directed, swap sheets & read what your partner
has written. Look them in the eyes & thank them.
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Activity 3.3 – From Today I Promise
• Objective: to commit to action to build our
body confidence
• “I, <name>, promise this day, <date> to make
a difference in my life and in the lives of
others by: <cite an action you want to do
which will improve your self-image and that of
others>. I will ask <name of a trusted friend>
to help me do this.”
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Some Useful Prayers
• Lord, thank You for life and the special purpose
You have for me in Your world. Please help me to
see myself in truth. Help me to change what You
want me to change. Help me to appreciate how
You have made me. Please help me to praise You
and honor You in my behavior toward others.
• Lord God, thank You for loving even me.
• Lord, I can’t. You can. You take control. Thank
you Lord.
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(Optional Activity) Prayer for Your
Partner
• During this workshop, you have worked in small
groups and with partners. Pick one of the people
you have worked with as a prayer partner.
• Take turns praying for each other.
– To be able to remember and apply what we have
learned
– To see ourselves as God sees us.
– To help others develop a good self-image.
– To heal from the false beliefs we have had about
ourselves.
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Summary
• Building body confidence can increase our happiness.
• Beauty is more diverse than the front covers of
magazines.
• Have fun with the way you look but don’t let it rule
your life.
• Think how others hear what you say.
• Practicing being confident will help you reach your
goals.
• Seeing yourself as God sees you is best
• Building your relationship with God will help you
with all of the other issues in this summary.
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