Transcript Helping Devotees Succeed

Helping Devotees Succeed
Spiritual Guidance System
Welcome!
A Spiritual Guide
Your spiritual success partner who:
 Thinks of you, listens to you and speaks to
you kindly in all circumstances
 Works alongside you with strong faith in
you and your potential
 Assists you in making lasting positive
changes in your life
 Supports you and encourages your
spiritual and professional growth
A Spiritual Guide
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Encourages your service, recognises your
natural gifts and talents, so that you can
use them as a basis for your spiritual
growth and material support
Works with you and for you, not on you
Keeps strictly confidential any information
about you
Believes in your inherent potential to be a
pure devotee of the Lord.
The Seven Purposes of ISKCON
3.
6.
To bring the members of the Society together
with each other and nearer to Krishna, the prime
entity, thus developing the idea within the
members, and humanity at large, that each soul
is part and parcel of the quality of Godhead
(Krishna).
To bring the members closer together for the
purpose of teaching a simpler, more natural way
of life.
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Be under the guidance of your elder
brother Janardana and you will
progress nicely.
Letter to Sivananda - Los Angeles 21
January, 1968
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… please act under the guidance of
Brahmananda, so long I am not able to
see you …
Letter to Robert - Los Angeles 20 February, 1968
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I am pleased to note that Girish is
progressing nicely under your guidance.
Letter to Aniruddha - Los Angeles 23 January, 1969
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People are going to hell for want of
proper guidance.
Letter to Harer Nama - Los Angeles 15 January, 1970
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One who gives personal instruction to each and
everyone does more for others than the platform
speakers do. Generally, whatever platform speakers
say cannot solve the problem of everyone in the
audience, nor can it always benefit every individual.
A person's defects are better rectified in a private
tutorial class or private coaching than in hearing
lectures in a school or college. Therefore those who
instruct particular persons separately can award
them something more permanent.
- Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, Amrta Vani, page 315
A Need!
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There is a clear need for more
systematic and effective support and
guidance of devotees - based on talking
to hundreds of serious devotees serving
in ISKCON.
Return On Investment
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People who are taken care of well and
are guided well will tend to do the same
with others in return
This will expand our mission and grow
our movement.
Holistic Or Complete Care
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Health
Sadhana
Service
Relationships
Etc.
This is organization
That is the way of Indian teaching, that there is one teacher,
and how he's managing hundreds? That means there are
groups. One who is elderly student, he's taking some
beginners: "Write a or A like this." That he can teach. What
he has learned, he can teach. Similarly, next group, next
group.
So in this way, one teacher can manage hundreds of
students of different categories. This is organization. Not
that everything I have to do. I cannot teach anybody to do
it. That is not intelligence.
Room Conversation -- July 31, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm)
This is organization
Intelligence is that employ others to help you. That is
intelligence. Not that "Oh, I was busy, I could not do it."
Why? What about your assistant? Train assistant so that
in your absence things can be done. So the elderly
students, they could be...
Just Caitanya Mahaprabhu used to do that. When He
was sixteen years old he could argue with Kesava
Kasmiri, because He was practiced. In this way, stage
after stage, everyone should be expert. Everyone should
be teacher and student.
Room Conversation -- July 31, 1976, New Mayapur (French farm)
Purpose
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Educate and train devotees to live
according to the Krishna conscious
principles of their asrama.
Provide systematic training in Krishna
conscious philosophy, sadhana,
Vaisnava behaviour, lifestyle and
attitudes.
Purpose
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Provide a formal framework within
which personal care and attention can
be provided to all devotees to make
them feel loved and wanted and part
of a wonderful spiritual family.
Foster warm personal relationships
and a spirit of love and trust amongst
devotees based on Krishna conscious
principles.
How Does The System Work?
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Certain experienced devotees from the
temple and the congregation are
trained and nominated to provide
support and guidance.
Devotees from the temple and the
congregation accept particular spiritual
guide.
Train assistant guides.
How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?
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Be a devotee who has been in active Krishna
consciousness within ISKCON for a reasonable
length of time.
Demonstrate a solid understanding of the
philosophy and practice of Krishna
consciousness.
Demonstrate the ability to give balanced
guidance based on Krishna conscious principles
according to time, place and circumstance.
How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?
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Be willing to extend himself/herself to
help others. Has a spirit of sacrifice.
Be compassionate and have genuine
concern for the welfare of devotees.
Be a good listener.
How Is A Spiritual Guide Selected?
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Be a mature, sober and stable individual.
Demonstrate good standard of sadhana,
etiquette, behaviour, service and commitment
to the ISKCON’s mission.
Be properly situated in his/her own asrama.
Becoming A Gardener
When a person receives the seed of
devotional service, he should take care of it
by becoming a gardener and sowing the seed
in his heart. If he waters the seed gradually
by the process of sravana and kirtana
[hearing and chanting], the seed will begin to
sprout.
CC Madhya 19.152
Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide
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A spiritual guide is a friend, supporter and
guide in Krsna consciousness.
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A spiritual elder brother/sister. Takes personal
care of all devotees in the group.
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Inspires and encourages devotees whom he
guides in Krsna consciousness and monitors
their progress.
Provides Krsna conscious training to those
devotees.
Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide
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Assists devotees in both spiritual and
personal matters. He looks into the overall
welfare of the devotees.
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Conducts fortnightly meetings with devotees.
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Recommends qualified candidates for first and
second initiation.
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Does not abuse his/her position as a guide
Responsibility Of A Spiritual Guide
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Provides useful input to the Team of
Spiritual Guides and actively
participates in meetings.
Sets a solid standard of sadhana,
service and behaviour.
4 Roles Of A Spiritual Guide
1.
2.
3.
4.
Example
Support
Guidance
Challenge
Training Of Devotees
How to be ideal brahmacaris and grhasthas
by keeping Krsna in the centre.
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How to maintain proper devotional standards
at the temple or at home (regarding
behaviour, sadhana, kitchen, altar, etc.).
How to be proper brahmacari or
wife/husband/parent/child, etc., according to
scriptures.
Training Of Devotees
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How to balance economic and social responsibilities
with spiritual vows.
How women should deal with men, particularly
brahmacharis and sannyasis.
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How men should deal with women.
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How to have proper attitude towards other asramas.
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A manual of Vaisnava Etiquette and Lifestyle is
discussed in meetings.
Meetings Of Spiritual Guides And
Devotees
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Vaisnava bhajans.
A few pages of one of Srila Prabhupada’s books are
discussed. One of the devotees makes a presentation
and a discussion follows.
Sharing realizations.
Discussion on service, sadhana and Vaisnava
etiquette.
Meetings Of Spiritual Guides And Devotees
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Any challenges or problems.
Personal problems that require confidentiality
are discussed in private with the guide.
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Kirtana.
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Prasadam.
Meetings Of The Team of Spiritual Guides
• Discussion on sadhana (japa, waking up early,
etc.).
• Reading (philosophy, importance of reading
Prabhupada’s books, etc.).
• Vaisnava etiquette and behaviour (how to
serve/honour prasadam, personal habits,
discussion on 26 qualities of a Vaisnava, etc.).
Different guides make presentations each time.
• Caring for devotees (reports from various teams
formed to care for devotees, if applicable).
Meetings Of Spiritual Guides
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Sometimes when the discussion flows
spontaneously, more time is required.
At the end, various management matters are
discussed if needed.
Prasadam.
Current Examples
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Chowpatty Mumbai
Ukraine
Bhaktivedanta Manor
Stockholm
London Soho
Benefits
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Train more preachers
Increase book distribution
Assist ISKCON gurus
Not lose devotees
Stable families
Train spiritual leaders
Krsna consciousness in the workplace
Less problems and scandals
Expand the mission
“Boiling the milk”
Benefits
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Increase support network for devotees
Increase preaching opportunities
Increase congregational involvement
Increase temple maintenance
Ensure that the Temple takes into account the
views of the congregational and temple
devotees when making decisions.
Facilitate loving relationships between
brahmacaris and grhasthas or temple and
congregational devotees.
How to start?
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Form teams of local devotees who are willing
to be spiritual guides.
Leaders support them in starting and
developing a system by speaking about it in
classes and forums and providing practical
help.
Take assistance from the European Team for
Spiritual Guidance.
Fan the spark!
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Just like people come here with little
faith. That faith is the little spark of
fire. Now you have to fan it, fan it, so
that fire may increase.
Lecture, Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.2.12 Vrndavana, October 23, 1972
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We require many boys and girls
like you to spread this movement.
Please do it carefully and help
others to become Krishna
conscious.
Letter to Dayananda - Calcutta 8 February, 1971
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Every disciple must make his own
spiritual progress positively and
help others to do so.
Letter to Nayanabhirama - Bombay 30 April, 1971
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So everything is there. Save yourself,
save others. This is our Krsna
consciousness movement. First of all
save yourself; then try to save others.
Or both things can go on
simultaneously.
Conversation on Roof - February 14, 1977, Mayapura
One to One Skills
For Spiritual Guides
Outline
Part 1
 Introduction
 10 Qualities
 Goal Setting
Part 2
 Relationship
 Skills
 Practice
How can we assist devotees?
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In going from where they are to
where they want to be, more quickly
and efficiently than they would do it
on their own
Provide a framework for their selfobservation, self-evaluation and
improvement
How you can assist devotees?
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By together highlighting and
engaging their worth, potential,
talents and strengths
By together discovering new options,
opportunities, possibilities and
advantages for solving problems and
achieving results
By together finding solutions that
exactly meet their needs
10 qualities
1.
2.
3.
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A genuine desire to help devotees
succeed
Genuine interest in devotees
A greater interest in people than in
things
The ability to balance your own life
and to put your own issues on hold
Total commitment to devotee’s
success
10 qualities
6.
7.
8.
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10.
Excellent verbal communication
Strict confidentiality
Being neither judgemental nor
critical
Being an explorer and provider of
options
Persistence
Goal setting
“Our goal is Krsna, and we are preaching
the gospel of Krsna, Bhagavad-gita As It
Is”
- Letter to Jayagovinda, Los Angeles 13 August 1969
“Disturbance is due to want of an ultimate
goal, and when one is certain that Krsna is
the enjoyer, proprietor and friend of
everyone and everything, then one can,
with a steady mind, bring about peace.” –
- Bg 2.66 P
Start
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If you want to achieve goals you’ve
never achieved before, you have to
start doing things you’ve never done
before.
Goals
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A problem to solve or a result to
achieve
A minor or major change of direction
Clear destination first
The means and motivation
Two steps
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Helping a devotee to define where
they want to be (setting their goals)
Helping a devotee to reach that
destination (achieving their goals)
SMART goals
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Specific
Measurable
Attractive
Realistic
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Time-bound
Clearly defined
Tangible, practical,
quantifiable
Inspiring
Within your capacity
or influence
Have a deadline
Writing goals
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The act of physically writing goals
down (paper or electronic) reinforces
your commitment to achieving them.
A goal that is not written is likely to
be forgotten
Yale University study
Working with goals
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Write them down
Read them everyday
Do something everyday to move you
closer to achieving them
Evaluate your actions
Create a support structure
Meet deadlines
Etc.
Exercise
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Choose a goal in one area of your life
(spiritual, career, relationships,
health, etc.) and make it into a
SMART goal, write it down and share
it with a devotee next to you or with
a group.
Demonstration
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Help a volunteer from the audience
to set and achieve a goal in his
chosen area.
Relationship
Let me become a sincere servant of
the devotees, because by serving
them one can achieve unalloyed
devotional service unto the lotus feet
of the Lord.”
- Nectar of Devotion, Rendering Service to Devotees
(SB 3.7.19)
Establishing rapport
Dictionary definitions:
 A close and harmonious relationship
in which there is common
understanding
 A feeling of understanding and
sympathy
Rapport
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“Getting in tune with another person
so that your mutual communications
are totally successful”.
Make it easy for a devotee to relate
to you
Show genuine interest
Listen empathically
Rapport
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Excellent mutual understanding
Trust
Say what you mean
Mean what you say
Enthusiastic to work together
Interrupting
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Discussion that is going nowhere
Negative line of comments
Self-pitying, victim attitude
Honesty
“If one is always acting under these
three facts, knowing Krsna to be the
Supreme Proprietor, Enjoyer, and
Friend, then he is truly honest, and if
one is not acting in this knowledge,
then he is always cheating or being
dishonest.”
- Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Bhakta dasa, Tokyo 2 May 1972
What does it mean?
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Being totally honest with yourself
Being totally honest with a devotee
Comply with your spiritual beliefs,
ethics and Vaisnava behaviour
“Put on an act” for a while
From a true place within
Exercise: Your Spiritual Ethics
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Think of a time where you were not
truthful in a relationship and what
were the consequences
A servant
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Finds pleasure in helping you
succeed in your chosen area. He
does this by assisting you in finding
solutions to your problems and
strategies for achieving your goals
Sees you in terms of your potential,
not in terms of your present
performance or behaviour
A servant
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He is like a friend or teacher, leader
or adviser who believes in you when
you don't believe in yourself. One
who stays with you regardless. Not
someone who is too soft and
permissive with you, someone who
gives in to you, but someone who
would neither give in to you nor give
up on you.
Exercise
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Practice building rapport
Add guidelines
Feedback and discussion
BG
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It is said that He (Krsna) is the ocean of
all the relationships exchanged between
two living entities ... Bg 11.14 P
One who works in devotion, who is a pure
soul, and who controls his mind and
senses is dear to everyone, and everyone
is dear to him. Though always working,
such a man is never entangled. Bg 5.7
Skills
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3.
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Listen empathically
Ask effective questions
Turn problems into opportunities
Promote dynamic action
Listen
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Fully understand the situation of the
devotee
Give them the space to understand
themselves
Listen first and seek first to
understand
Remain as impartial, open and
objective as you possibly can
Listen
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Interested and concerned
THEY are responsible for their lives
Clear your mind of all personal issues
Exercise
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Listen to a devotee next to you for 3
minutes. You must not: make any
sound, say anything, nod, shake
your head or show any other signs.
Repeat back your understanding of
the key points they made. Ask a
devotee whether you understood him
or her well.
Asking Effective Questions
The purpose of asking questions is to:
1. Understand your devotee well
2. Help them understand themselves
3. Clarify what they want
4. Discover new options, opportunities,
possibilities and advantages
5. Identify obstacles
6. Make an action plan
EQ
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What are your strengths, talents,
skills, good qualities?
What do you want?
What one great thing would you dare
to dream if you knew you could not
fail? (question about an exciting
goal)
EQ
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What one thing, if you would do superbly
well everyday, would make the greatest
positive difference in your life? (question
about personal habits / best practices)
What can you learn from this?
How can you turn this problem into an
opportunity?
What and who inspires you the most?
EQ
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What do you want?
Are you ready to pay the price?
Disempowering questions
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Why are you so bad?
Why you don’t understand what’s
good for you?
When are you going to change /
shape up / grow up?
How could you do such a thing?
Tip
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After asking questions and listening,
summarize what you have heard to
be sure you have understand your
devotee well.
Power of questions
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The question that saved
concentration camp prisoner’s life.
Exercise
1.
2.
Pair up as and take turn to speak
about an issue.
Ask relevant and empowering
questions until he is certain to have
understood the devotee
Paraphrase back to the devotee to
determine whether he has
successfully understood him. The
devotee should confirm it.
Turning Problems Into Opportunities
“O Partha, happy are the ksatriyas to
whom such fighting opportunities
come unsought, opening for them
the doors of the heavenly planets.”
Bg 2.32
Turning Problems Into Opportunities
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The way you see a problem or a task
powerfully influences you action and
the results you will achieve.
Help the devotee to see their
problems differently: as a blessing in
disguise.
A turnaround expert
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What is great about this problem?
What can I learn from this problem?
What this problem is an opportunity for?
If you would be a world expert on these
issues, what would you advise?
If you would be super-intelligent, how
would you deal with this problem?
What additional skills do you need to deal
with this problem?
A turnaround expert
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Use questions as you see fit, in any
order
Induce a devotee to see themselves
as expert in solving a particular
problem and learn everything they
can about it from various sources
(spiritual, professional, etc.).
Exercise
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Choose one problem and turn it into
an opportunity together.
Promoting Action
“Factually, we should be engaged 24
hours in Krsna's service and
everything should be done very
nicely and perfectly.”
Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Adi-kesava, Bombay 2 January 1975
Helping devotees succeed
Helps devotees succeed in their chosen
area by assisting them by:
 Clarifying what they want
 Exploring options, opportunities,
possibilities and advantages
 Overcoming obstacles
 Making a written action plan
 Holding them accountable by
requesting weekly reports
Holistic Or Complete Care
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Health
Sadhana
Service
Relationships
Etc.
Change
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To change their results, devotee
needs to change their perception,
their thinking and their action.
To achieve things you have never
achieved before, you have to start
doing things you have never done
before.
Success
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Success = Personal effort + Krsna’s mercy
The place of action [the body], the performer, the various
senses, the many different kinds of endeavour, and
ultimately the Supersoul — these are the five factors of
action. Whatever right or wrong action a man performs by
body, mind or speech is caused by these five factors.
Therefore one who thinks himself the only doer, not
considering the five factors, is certainly not very intelligent
and cannot see things as they are.
Bg 18.14-16
O son of Kunti, I am the taste of water, the light of the sun
and the moon, the syllable om in the Vedic mantras; I am
the sound in ether and ability in man.
Bg 7.8
Practice
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Demonstration
Mutual assistance
Share first with your partner and
then with a whole group what you
have learned and experienced both
as a guide and guided
Helping each other
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Prabhupada liked to hear of his disciples helping each other
to follow the instructions of the spiritual master.
SDG, Prabhupada Meditations 2.2.3: Guru Means Heavy
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I hope we shall very soon meet again and help each other
in the matter of discharging Krishna consciousness
engagements.
Letter to Satsvarupa - Delhi 6 October, 1967
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… help each other to become better and better preachers of
this Krishna Consciousness movement.
Letter to Madhucara - Nairobi 25 September, 1971
Summary
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Attentive to devotee’s needs, interests and
concerns
Confidential
Supportive
Focused on a devotee being guided
Personal issues
Sharing realizations and successes
Not a lecture
Working together to find solutions
Enlightening
GITA ONE-TO-ONE MODEL
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Goals
Instructions
Tests
Action
Benefits
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Clear inspiring goals
Personalized instructions
Strength and knowledge to pass the
tests
Dynamic action
Goals
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Positive
SMART
Written
Instructions
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Research
Choose
Think
Apply
Tests
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Internal
External
Easier
Harder
Action
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What
How
When
Accountability
ONE-TO-ONE SKILLS
4 Roles Of A Spiritual Guide
1.
2.
3.
4.
Example
Support
Guidance
Challenge
How do we help devotees
succeed?
1.
2.
3.
Highlight devotees’ worth and
potential.
Discover new options,
opportunities, possibilities and
advantages.
Find solutions that exactly meet
their needs.
Establishing Rapport
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Definition
Attentive listening
Honesty
Service attitude
Effective Questions
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Purpose
Disempowering questions
Empowering questions
Turning Issues Into Goals
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Issue = problem or result
Current reality
Desired outcome
SMART goal
Goal as a challenge
Promoting Action
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Specific action
Written plan
Determination: on a scale 1-10
Accountability
PRACTICE ONE-TO-ONE
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Plan A Session
Have A Session
Evaluate A Session
Plan A Session
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Use the GITA table in the handout
Take assistance
Review skills
Clarify outcome, i.e. specific action
Have A Session
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Work in threes (guide, devotee,
observer)
Follow your session plan
Avoid giving advice
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Ensure action
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Evaluate A Session
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Ask a devotee
Ask the observer
Ask yourself
Share with a facilitator
Follow Up
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Teach it within 48 hours
Apply it daily
Report to someone
Stay in touch with guides
Mutual assistance (daily or weekly
mutual questions)
Services And Resources
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One-to-one coaching
Courses: Helping Devotees
Succeed, Gita Coaching
Leadership consulting
Ebook: Helping Devotees
Succeed
Audio: Helping Devotees
Succeed
Website:
Thank you!
Hare Krsna