Transcript Personal Reflective Writing

PERSONAL
REFLECTIVE
WRITING
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You will be writing about your memories of an
event/experience. The event will be one which you
had significant feelings about, before, during and
after.
You are not re-telling the story.
You are reflecting on memories of your feelings;
expressing them, reflecting (your thoughts and
opinions) on them, and considering them with the
ability of hindsight (looking back).
What is REFLECTION?
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How did you feel?
Why did you feel that way?
Do you feel the same way now?
WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE?
HOW did it change you as a person?
You will choose a memorable event. It does not have to
be an event in which you were involved/ long lasting
personal experience (ie. a two week holiday). It can
even be an event that lasted an hour, so long as you
have a clear memory of the way you felt. Your
teacher will give you some choices.
Areas to think about;
1) Something that has happened to you AND changed
you
2) Something that has happened in the world that
affected you/made you re-evaluate
SQA Writing Folio
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Word limits
Higher 650-1300
Int 2 500-1000
Int 1 300-600
Always hand in two copies of each draft (with the
word count on each)
Content
Content is relevant and appropriate for purpose and audience, reveals
depth and complexity of thought and sustained development.
Structure
Structure is effective and appropriate for purpose, audience and genre;
content is sequenced and organised in ways which assist impact.
Expression
Capable use of techniques relevant to the genre and effective choice of
words and sentence structures sustain a style and tone which clearly
communicate a point of view/stance consistent with purpose and
audience.
Confirming Technical Accuracy
A piece of writing which does not satisfy the requirement for
“consistent” technical accuracy cannot pass. If, however, technical
accuracy is deemed “consistent”, then there are no penalties or
deductions for any errors.
Grades and Pass Marks
Pieces of writing which pass (ie meet the minimum requirements
of the Performance Criteria) should be assigned to one of four
categories as follows:
Category
Mark(s)
Broad descriptor
I
II
III
25
21 or 23
17 or 19
IV
13 or 15
Outstanding
Very sound
Comfortably
achieves all
Performance
Criteria
Just succeeds in
achieving the
Performance Criteria
What is REFLECTIVE writing?
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Personal experience essays are when you write
about something that has happened to you, your
thoughts and feelings and memories about it. You
may even have touched upon ‘reflection’, saying how
the event changed you, how you view it now, with
hindsight, etc.
Reflective essays are still about your thoughts and
feelings! However, your thoughts and feelings or the
things that have changed you, might not have been
a personal experience.
Reflection is...
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A reflective essay explores some aspect of the
world
You present your thoughts and feelings on it
Discuss how you think it has affected the person you
are today
Describe the person you are/your opinions of
yourself
Ideas for titles?
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My life in Music...
My life in ...
My Family
What is Family?
Personal Experience (any event that has changed
you)
Pick a saying such as ‘Teenage years, the best years
of your life’
The main requirements of the personal reflective essay
are that it will:
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Aim to interest or give pleasure to the reader, not just
convey information,
concern itself with a single idea, insight or experience
Be thoughtful in tone and convey a sense of the writer’s
personality
Reveal the thought processes of the writer
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It must NOT be a step-by-step account of an
experience. This is boring!
Planning
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Do some research (read newspapers – the
‘comments’ or ‘opinion’ sections are often personal –
or magazines, or watch debate programmes such as
The Big Question)
Edit your work. Your first draft is never going to be
your best draft! Rework it! Reflect on each
paragraph if you have to.
Jot down ideas as they come into your head,
feelings, memories, opinions, as they come to you
and think about why you feel like that.
BEFORE writing
Homework:
 When you go home, listen to music that reminds you
of the time you are writing about.
 Smell aftershaves, perfume, foods, etc. that remind
you of that time.
 Your senses are very powerful tools, use them!
 Weather is often a great way to stimulate your
senses and memories.
Thought shower...
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any immediate thoughts and feelings, or things you
remember, that come into your head.
Chronologically order or sequence the events that
you have in your memory. From start to finish in
bullet points.
Cut these stages up so that they are on individual
pieces of paper. Now, re-sequence your stages,
starting with the strongest memory first. This will be
where you start your essay… and you now have a
paragraph plan.
Things you will be marked on specifically in
personal reflective writing:
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Informal and chatty tone
Thoughts and feelings throughout
Past tense when describing past events
Present tense when reflecting
Adjectives
Verbs
Linking phrases
No clichés (although similes and metaphors are good)
Structural techniques (flashback, sentence structure, etc.)
Reflection (how it has made you who you are today)
Let’s think about these techniques!
Adjectives
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A wide range of adjectives or descriptions is
essential for personal reflective writing.
Try not to use adjectives such as ‘happy’ or ‘sad’ or
‘nice’ or ‘good’ or ‘O.K’, they don’t really tell us how
you felt about something, and they do not reflect
your personality.
Activity 1
In your jotter, try to write lists of suitable replacements
for these underlined words:
• I was happy
• I was sad
• It was nice
• It was good
• It was horrible
• It was bad
• It was OK
Verbs
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Successful personal writing also uses a wide range
of verbs. Verbs help you to describe exactly to the
reader how you did something and how you felt
while you were doing it.
Try not to use verbs that are over-used, such as
‘said’ or ‘went’ or ‘walked’ or ‘laughed’ or ‘cried’.
Activity 2
In your jotter, try to write a list of suitable
replacements for these underlined words:
 I said
 I went
 I walked
 I laughed
 I cried
Activity 3
Pick 5 of these verbs, write them in you jotter, and beside
them write a sentence or two explaining what you
would expect someone to be feeling if they were doing
this in this way.
Eg. He sauntered into the room…
Sauntered = If someone saunters into a room they might
do so confidently, casually and perhaps in a cocky
manner. They walk fairly slowly, taking their time at a
leisurely pace. This could show you that they were not
shy or that they had no cares.
Using physical feelings to support
emotions
You should also, as far as possible, describe how you
physically felt when you talk about your memory of
a feeling. Sometimes the physical feeling is a
stronger memory, which may imply how you were
feeling emotionally.
Activity 4
Write down some suggestions of an emotion you may
be feeling if you are having these physical feelings.
There are no right or wrong answers, just think about
what assumptions you make.
I felt my stomach lurch and my heart sink. ………………………..
I felt the hot tears on my face. ……………………………………..
It felt as if there were butterflies in my stomach……………………
My hands were shaking and my mouth was dry……………………
My shoulders relaxed and I took a deep breath…………………….
My skin tingled …………………………………………………….
My cheeks ached from grinning ……………………………………
I clenched my fists tightly and gritted my teeth……………………
My face was hot ……………………………………………………
My legs shook and I stammered as I spoke.....................
Using your senses to describe setting
When you are describing your setting, or any locations you
remember, try to reflect upon your senses at the time.
(This also comes in handy for creative/imaginative
writing.)
You should not only express what you remember seeing,
but anything you could hear around you, any smells,
tastes and physical feelings/touch (not just what you
could touch, but what you maybe felt; the sun on your
skin, the wind ruffling your hair, the hairs on the back of
your neck standing up, the cold making you shiver, etc).
Reflective phrases
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Using your senses too much though can risk sounding
too much like creative writing!
To ensure this, keep adding in phrases, such as:
With hindsight…
Upon reflection…
When I look back…
I remember…
I recall…
Looking back…
Activity 5
Look at the following examples of personal writing or
creative writing and think about the use of senses...
Extract 1
sight
touch
The sky is blue without clouds. In the evening it grows
sultry and the heat rises from the earth. When the
wind blows toward us it brings the smell of blood,
touch
which is very heavy and sweet. The deadly smell
exhalation from the shell holes seems to be a
smell
mixture of chloroform and putrefaction, and fills us
with nausea and retching.
All Quiet on the Western Front Erich Maria
Remarque
Extract 2
I left the noisy birds behind and turned down the narrow lane
that led down one side of the valley. Soon it would rise steeply
again... My destination was on my right... After several twists
and turns we started to find that the lane changed in
character, private residences taking the place of farm houses.
Most of the buildings were modern but all seemed to be built
in the characteristic architecture of the region... We turned one
more corner then into a steep driveway on our right. The view
took my breath away. The house was perched on the side of a
hill with a 270 degree view of undulating greenery, all against
a backdrop of dramatic snow-capped peaks.
A Piano in the Pyrenees Tony Hawk
Extract 3
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were
striking thirteen. Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into
his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind,
slipped quickly through the glass doors... The
hallway smelt of boiled cabbage and old rag mats.
At one end of it a coloured poster, too large for
indoor display, had been tacked to the wall... On
each landing, opposite the lift shaft, the poster with
an enormous face gazed from the wall... Inside the
lift a flat fruity voice was reading out a list of
figures...
1984 George Orwell
Extract 4
Amicalola Falls Lodge was an eyrie high on a mountainside,
reached up a long, winding road through the woods. The
man at the airport in Manchester had certainly seen the right
weather forecast. It was piercingly, shockingly cold when we
stepped from the car. There was a treacherous, icy wind that
seemed to dart around from every angle then up the sleeves
and trouser legs. “Jee-zuss!” Katz cried in astonishment as if
somebody had just thrown a bucket of ice water over him...
The lodge was modern, posh and very warm, with an open
lobby dominated by a stone fireplace... I got a coke from a
machine in the corridor, had a lavishly steamy shower
involving many towels, inserted myself between crisp sheets...
And hardly slept at all. A Walk in the Woods Bill Bryson
Extract 5
They had strolled the spotless streets of Iztapalapa through
plots of full-blossomed flowers, arranged in patterns and
in colours pleasing to the eye; through irrigated fruit
orchards; and into still groves of aromatic trees, like cedar.
They sat in the shade of bright cotton awnings in quiet
stone patios and marvelled at the robustness and welltended orderliness of the vegetable gardens around them.
Roses glowed against the lime-washed walls of the houses
like garnets and alexandrites. In the hour before sunset,
the cool, fragrant air was filled with the whirr and flutter
of birds, and lit with birdsong.
The Passing Wisdom of Birds Barry Lopez
Extract 6
It was in Burma, a sodden morning of the rains A sickly
light, like yellow tinfoil, was slanting over the high walls
into the jail yard. We were waiting outside the
condemned cells, a row of sheds fronted with double
bars, like small animal cages. Each cell measured
about ten feet by ten and was quite bare within except
for a plank bed and a pot of drinking water. In some
of them brown silent men were squatting at the inner
bars with their blankets wrapped round them… Eight
o’clock struck and a bugle call, desolately thin in the
wet air, floated fro the distant barracks…
A Hanging George Orwell
Consider Tense/narrator
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Look at the difference between the non-fiction
personal writing extracts and the fictional extracts.
What tense does fiction tend to use?
What tense does non-fiction/personal-reflective
tend to use?
When using the senses, which one goes into more
detail?
Obviously, the narrator will be you, so it should be
first person, past tense MOST of the time. Reflection
will be in present tense though!
You have now considered; thoughts, feelings, the
events you want to write about, your structure and
some word choice AND also how to be descriptive
using senses and physical feelings.
You are now going to assess other people’s personal
reflective writing and decide what is good/bad
about it.
Attempt 1
We went to a restaurant last year to celebrate my
grandfather’s eightieth birthday. The restaurant was in
the centre of Glasgow. All my family were there as well
as my grandfather’s best friend. I started off with soup,
then I had chicken with roast potatoes and vegetables.
After that I had ice cream. At the end of the meal my
father said a few words about my grandfather and
gave him a watch. Then we all went home by taxi.
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Is this an interesting piece of writing?
Sum up the good points and the bad points.
Attempt 2
Last year we all went to an Italian restaurant, Mario’s, in the
centre of Glasgow, to celebrate my grandfather’s eightieth
birthday. All my family were there: my mother and father, my
two younger sisters, my grandmother, my two aunts, my uncle
and me. My grandfather’s best friend, Donald, came as well.
Most of the dishes were Italian but I decided to have carrot
soup, chicken and roast potatoes, then strawberry ice cream.
Once the meal was over, my father called for everyone’s
attention. When we were all quiet, he stood up and said a few
words about my grandfather. When he had finished he gave
him a gold watch. At midnight we paid the bill and went home.
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What additional details does he give that makes
this a little more interesting?
Do we know much about his personality or feelings
about the event?
Attempt 3
Last year we were all dragged off to an Italian restaurant,
Mario’s, in the centre of Glasgow to celebrate my
grandfather’s eightieth birthday. Everybody in my family had
to make an appearance: my mother and father, my two
younger sisters (who never behave well in restaurants, so I
don’t know why they were invited), my two doddering aunts,
my taciturn uncle and me. My grandfather’s best friend,
Donald, was also invited. I avoided the Italian dishes and went
for safer things like carrot soup (not bad), chicken and roast
potatoes (okay, but the potatoes were tiny and not warm
enough), then strawberry ice cream (easily the best).
After what seemed like hours and hours, we finally
finished and my father called for attention. He did this
by shouting “Right everybody!” which is what he does
at home. As usual, everybody ignored him, so he had
to shout two or three times before we were all quiet.
He then gave my grandfather a gold watch and said
a few words about him. He made some jokes, then
talked about my grandfather’s experience as a
prisoner-of-war, which I hadn’t know much about
before. Eventually he finished, we paid the bill (well,
my father paid) and we went home by taxi.
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Find an example of a good verb he uses to
describe something.
Find an example of a good adjective he uses to
describe something.
How do you think he felt about the event?
Is there use of physical feelings?
Is there use of senses?
Explicit/Implicit Feelings
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Some people come right out and say how they feel
Other people imply (through some of the techniques
we’ve discussed) how they feel
For any piece of writing you have looked at,
highlight the explicit feelings one colour and the
implicit another
Explicit feelings
The object
Sisters
Aunts
Uncle
Donald
Roast potatoes
Dad
Expression
Implicit feelings
Expression
Dragged off
Had to make an appearance
Which I hadn’t known much
about before
Real meaning implied
Final draft
My aunts couldn’t make up their minds about what to order, my two
little sisters were fighting about whose fork was whose, and
Donald had already eaten half the bread rolls from the basket on
the table. I looked at my watch. Still at least two hours to go.
It had of course seemed like a good idea at the time. My
grandfather was about to turn eighty, and to celebrate the event
my father had decided that we should go out for dinner. It
occurred to me that my grandfather did not normally go out to
restaurants as he was happiest at home in his favourite armchair,
and that taking the whole family out would be expensive. For a
few moments I thought of voicing my opinion but thought twice
when I saw my father’s face bubbling with enthusiasm.
The restaurant was Mario’s, in the centre of Glasgow. It’s Italian, as
the name suggests. My family – that’s to say, my mother, my
father, my two sisters and I – arrived first. Dad, of course, had to
make sure everything was in order. Within half an hour, the
others – my two doddering aunts, my taciturn uncle, and my
grandfather’s friend Donald – were all in their places.
I searched the menu for something that didn’t sound Italian, while
my parents shrieked across the table at my aunts (show didn’t
look too sure where they were or why) and my uncle sat in
painful silence. Donald got he bread rolls in his sights and my
sisters began to sneer at each other. After five minutes of this the
waiter arrived to take our order. Nobody, except me, was ready
so my father sent him away again.
The sneers led to name calling, the shrieks became shriller, my
uncle began to look more like a corpse than usual, and Donald
started on his fourth bread roll. The waiter re-appeared and
was dismissed again. It must have been a full twenty-five
minutes before we were ready to order. By this time however,
the waiter was nowhere to be found. I suspected he must have
gone into a small corner to cry. At some point he must have
returned, because I remember having carrot soup, roast
chicken and vegetables, and strawberry ice cream. The
potatoes were only marginally warmer than the ice cream, but
otherwise it was an okay meal. During it, I would occasionally
look up at my family. Very quickly, I would look down again.
When all the food was gone, and coffee and teas were being taken, my father
called for our attention. He could have done this easily by standing up but he
chose to remain seated and call out “Right everybody”, just as he does at home
when he has something he believes is important that we should all listen to. He
then presented my grandfather with a gold watch and proceeded to talk a bit
about his life. He made a few jokes, told a few funny stories (such as the time
my grandfather dozed off in the bath with the tap running and flooded the
downstairs flat) and generally said what a good guy he was. This wasn’t all
however. He also mentioned how my grandfather had been taken prisoner
during the war and how it had been difficult to readjust to normal life when he
came home. It had taken years for the nightmares to stop and he had found it
difficult to hold down in a job in that time. He had been offered treatment at
the time but was determined to beat the depression himself, which, eventually,
he did. A few years later he had married, had children, who in turn had their
own children, and now, here he was, eighty and still going strong. We
applauded and cheered. My grandfather stood up and thanked us all, and we
cheered some more. Then everything began to move towards its end. The bill
was ordered and paid (by my father), somebody phoned taxis, and by half
past midnight I was in bed.
I was very tired, but I didn’t fall asleep immediately. I was kept
awake by an image of my grandfather as a young man in
France, not much older than I was now. I tried to imagine what
it must have been like, not just fighting, but being mistreated,
cut off from your loved ones, and uncertain whether you would
get out alive. How could anyone cope with such an
experience? He almost hadn’t. It had nearly broken him, but
somehow he came through it. I had always known that he had
been a prisoner of war, but I hadn’t know exactly how bad it
was, and it had never occurred to me to ask.
Next year, I thought, as I turned out the light, we should take him
out for a special evening again. Nobody deserved it more.
In the following table, fill in the corresponding actions from the
final draft, which he explicitly told us about in attempt 3.
Attempt 3
Young Sister behaving badly
Doddering Aunts
Taciturn Uncle
Donald eating too much
Final Draft
The writer also gives more implicit information about how he
feels about things. What do the following phrases imply he
feels?
Expression
At least two hours to go…
Dad, of course, had to make sure
everything was in order…
Nobody, except me, was ready…
Very quickly, I would look down again…
Something he believes is important that
we should all listen to…
Implicit Meaning
Structure
We are also going to think about the structure of this final
draft and the sentence structure within it.
 Where in the line of events does the writer start his essay?
 In paragraph 5 some very long sentences are used. What
impression does this give you?
 In the last paragraph or two there are some very short
sentences used. What impression are you left with after
these?
 In some of the paragraphs short and long sentences are
juxtaposed (placed right beside each other). Find an
example of this, and think about what is created by this
juxtaposition.
 He ends the essay by looking back on the events, with
hindsight. Why is this a good way to end?
You have now considered; thoughts, feelings, the events
you want to write about, your structure and some word
choice AND also how to be descriptive using senses and
physical feelings. We have also, in detail now, studied
implicit and explicit feelings and looked at where to
begin and end a story.
Lets summarise then, what are the key elements of
personal reflective writing? Fill in the spider diagram on
the next page. Some extras have been added in for
you to consider.
Reflective
phrases
Overall
structure
Varied
punctuation
Paragraphing
varied
Sentence length
varied
Dialogue
minimal
Physical
feelings
Effective
Reflective
Writing
Similes/metaphor/
onomatopoeia /
personification
Varied
verbs/adjectives
Setting/
senses