The Homebound Syndrome… A Sequel

(on the hazards of never leaving home electronically) NAYEN 2012, Anchorage Dennis White [email protected]

www.yeoresources.com

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Part I: The Inbound Syndrome

• The tendency for expatriates (not just Youth Exchange students) to bond with one another • Not good, not bad, just is - but has implications for immersion in the host culture

The Inbound Syndrome revised.doc

Part II: The Homebound Syndrome

• The tendency for Youth Exchange students to maintain continual electronic communication with family and friends back home • It is a part of the lifestyle of today’s students - but has some problematic implications for immersion in the host culture

Some historical comments on the “younger generation”

Children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they allow disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children now are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up food at the table, …and tyrannize their teachers. Socrates, 469-339 B.C.

Some historical comments on the “younger generation”

The young are permanently in a state resembling intoxication. Aristotle, 384-322 BC I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do now Will Rogers 1930

Some historical comments on the “younger generation”

Kids! I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!

Kids! Who can understand anything they say?

Kids! They a disobedient, disrespectful oafs!

Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy, loafers! While we're on the subject: Kids! You can talk and talk till your face is blue!

Kids! But they still just do what they want to do!

Why can't they be like we were, Perfect in every way?

What's the matter with kids today?

Bye Bye Birdie, 1962

Beloit College Mindset 2011

• Ferris Bueller and Sloane Peterson could be their parents.

• The only significant labor disputes in their lifetimes have been in major league sports.

• To the statement “Don’t touch that dial!”, they say what dial?

• Amazon has never been just a river in South America.

Beloit College Mindset 2011

• We have never asked, and they have never had to tell.

• The Communist Party has never been the official political party in Russia.

• And most importantly, they have ALWAYS been electronically connected.

The Rotarian Magazine , February, 2012 Tech Savants by Patti Lamberti Five things you need to know about the “gadget generation”: 1. They are blind to technology etiquette.

2. Multi-tasking is hurting their brains.

3. They dislike conversing face to face.

4. Their only news comes from Facebook.

5. Life without technology leaves them depressed and anxious.

“Last year the International Center for Media and the Public Agenda asked 1,000 students from across five continents to not use media for one day and then report back. They… reported feeling depressed and lonely. They…felt that living without (their cell phones) was like losing a part of their identity.”

• • • • •

Parents of today’s 16-17 year olds:

Probably born between 1955 and 1975 (If born in 1955) Were 2 years old when Sputnik was launched.

Had stay-at-home moms.

Were 8 years old when JKF was assassinated.

Were too young to go to Woodstock Were one year olds when Elvis appeared on Ed Sullivan.

Parents of today’s 16-17 year olds:

Probably born between 1955 and 1975 (If born in 1975) • Were 1 year olds for the U.S. bicentennial.

• Probably never used rotary phones.

• Were the first generation with a majority of working moms.

• Were two years old when Elvis died.

• Ask “Who’s Ed Sullivan?”

Invasive Parenting

• • • Helicopter Parents Curling Parents Similar phrases for this phenomenon exist in many cultures today

Invasive Parents

• • • • • Will do homework for their children because they do not want them to fail Fill out college applications and SAT’s Probably fill out RYE applications too Write letters of recommendation and ask teacher to sign Are the ones taking notes at Orientations

The New Global Student

Maya Frost

“Swaddling our kids in bubble wrap prevents them from experiencing and developing the ability to adapt in unpredictable circumstances. In making life easier for their kids in the short term parents are making it harder for them in the long term. In addition, they are depriving their children of meaning and a shot at deep satisfaction”.

Hara Estroff Marano, A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting Quoted in The New Global Student by Maya Frost

Two central issues, closely related:

1. Instant Communication 2. Invasive Parenting

           The historical progression of international communication Land mail Placing an overseas call Direct Dial Calling cards Fax Email Blogs Skype Instant messaging (texting, etc.) Facebook Twitter???

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"My dream is for every 17-year old to become a Youth Exchange Student. If we could achieve this, there would be no more wars." Carl-Wilhelm Stenhammar, Rotary International President 2004-2005

Why is this important for Youth Exchange?

Among the top reasons exchanges fail are: 1. Over-bonding with other Inbound students (The Inbound Syndrome) 2. Never leaving home electronically (The Homebound Syndrome)

Stages of Culture Shock

1.

2.

3.

4.

Initial excitement Irritability and negativeness Gradual adaptation Biculturalism Culture Shock.doc

Rotary Youth Exchange

Culture Shock Cycle

Pre-Departure Months 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Return …...

Normal Level of Feelings Adapted from a model by Robert Kohls

Stages of Culture Shock:

1. Initial enthusiasm and excitement 2.

Irritability and negativism 3. Gradual adjustment and adaptation 4. Integration and bi-culturalism

If the easiest response to the Irritability and negativism stage is to find comfort with other Inbounds or electronically with friends and family at home, the student may get stuck going back and forth from stage one to two, in a vicious cycle

1.

Stages of Culture Shock: Initial enthusiasm and excitement 2.

Irritability and negativism ( Discomfort) 3. Gradual adjustment and adaptation 4. Integration and bi-culturalism

Extreme Responses

• Rules intended to prohibit or control • Giving up – “There’s nothing we can do about it”

Reasonable Responses

• Accept – These two phenomena are with us for the foreseeable future • Inform – Give people, parents, students, YEOs information on how and why intrusive parenting and instant communication can interfere with immersion into the host culture • Challenge - If students can manage their own behavior they can make a good exchange become a great exchange

Discussion: Implications for Youth Exchange 1. Interviews and Selection. 2. Parent and Student Orientations.

3. Hosting Inbounds.

4. Managing the exchange year.

5. Communicating with the student, pre exchange, exchange and post- exchange.

6. And any other topics you wish.