Transcript II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict

Chapter 12
衝突管理
組員：
49712031 蔡欣育
49712032 林羿貝
49712033 吳錫華
49712039 黃嬿安
I. Interpersonal Conflict
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
英三甲 49712033 吳錫華
I. Interpersonal Conflict 人際衝突
Definition: Disagreement between two
interdependent people who perceive that
they have incompatible goals.
The perception of interpersonal conflict
is culturally based.
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
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American perspective: inevitable
Asian perspective: damaging
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
Pseudoconflict (假衝突):
A.
◦
◦
◦
是一種即將發生的衝突，雖然還不是真
正的衝突，但會演變成真正的衝突。
Conflict that is due to perceptual difference
between partners and is easily resolved.
A pseudoconflict occurs when partners
believe desired results cannot be achieved
simultaneously when they really can.
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
At tempt to deescalate the
pseudoconflict before it turns into a real
conflict.

◦
◦
◦
Your roommate always says that he/she will
do the dishes but never does.
You raise your hand in class, but the
instructor never calls on you.
You’ve asked your friend to do something
three times in the past week, but he/she is
always “ too busy” studying.
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
B. Badgering(玩笑糾纏): Light teasing,
taunting, and mocking behavior.
◦
Badgering can be destructive when the goal
is to drive the partner into a fight.
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
C. Fact conflicts(事實爭
論): Conflict that is due to
a dispute over truth or
accuracy of a piece of
information.
◦ The information needed to
resolve a fact conflict is easy
to get.
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
D. Value conflicts(價值觀衝
突): Conflict that is due to
disagreements about deepseated moral beliefs.
1. At times you may have to agree
to disagree.
2. Use other values on which you
agree in order to arrive at a
mutually satisfying resolution.
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
E. Policy conflicts(方針衝突): Conflict
that is due to a disagreement over a
plan or course of action.
1. Because policy conflicts concern what
“should” be done, there are no “right”
or “wrong” behaviors .
2. If a problem-solving approach is not
used, policy conflicts become ego
conflicts.
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
F. Ego conflicts(自我衝突):
Conflict that is due to both
parties in a disagreement
insisting on being the
“winner” of the argument.
1. 把輸贏當作自我價值、自我
能力以及自我學識的標準
2. 獲勝比事實或價值更重要
3. 自認的權威被挑戰
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
content conflict(內容衝突)：指訊息的正確
性所引起的衝突，這類衝突常在於爭論什麼是
At tempt to deescalate the ego
conflict to a content level conflict.
正確的答案。
◦ “Where have you been? You said you’d be
home in time to go to the early show. I
should have known better than to trust
you!”
◦ “ I ’m tired of picking up after you, and
I ’m tired of you treating me like dirt !”
◦ “You’ve been ripping me off all semester
on your share of the phone bill . What
kind of an idiot do you take me for?”
II. Types of Interpersonal Conflict
G. Meta conflict: Conflict that is due to
disagreements about the process of
communication itself during an
argument.
1. We may accuse our partner of annoying,
name calling(謾罵), not listening, fighting
unfairly, etc.
2. The best solution: formed agreements
with our partner about how to
communicate during conflict.
III. Styles of Managing
Interpersonal Conflict
英三甲 49712031 蔡欣育
A. Withdrawing 脫離

定義：在生理上或心理上遠離衝突

不願配合的一種方法，因為至少有一個人
不願意交談(uncooperative/unassertive)

當一個人忽略別人所說的話就會產生心理
上的脫離

產生雙輸的局面(lose-lose situation)

脫離在兩種情況下是很有用的：
1. 從激動的情緒中暫時解脫(let the heat
subside)，但脫離者必須表明其脫離的原因
eg. 夫妻吵架→冷戰
2. 當兩人的關係或者是其爭吵議題不是非
常重要，脫離是個適合的方法
B. Accommodating 順從

定義：藉由滿足他人需求來解決衝突，但
是忽略了自己的需求和想法

是配合但不武斷的做法，保留了友善的關
係(cooperative but unassertive)

一個人的習慣性順從表示他不願主張自己
的立場，會導致其無法保護自己權益

非輸即贏的局面(win/lose)

當問題不重要但彼此關係很好的情況下，
順從是個合適的方法

對日本人而言，順從被視為是比在衝突中
丟面子更謙遜且不失顏面的做法
C. Forcing 強迫
定義：藉由滿足個人需求而不顧他人想法
來解決衝突
 對於他人的需求或想法不關心
 不在乎強迫的行為會破壞到彼此的關係
 強迫包含：肢體上的威脅physical threats、
言語上的攻擊verbal attacks、脅迫coercion
、操控manipulation
 當被脅迫的一方順從，衝突便平息，反之
則加劇了衝突


以個人滿意度的觀點而言，強迫造成了非
輸即贏的局面(強迫者取得勝利)；以關係而
言，強迫會傷害彼此的情誼

強迫在兩種情況下是有效的：
1. 緊急情況
2. 對方可以在你的強迫之下得到好處
D. Compromising 妥協

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定義：互相同意彼此的意見以部分滿足雙方需求
雙方通常會放棄其真正想要的訴求
妥協需要彼此的合作(cooperation)，也需要一些
魄力(assertiveness)
從個人滿意度而言，妥協是雙輸的結果；從關係
滿意度而言，妥協是中立偏正面的結果(neutral to
positive)
當問題的重要性是適度的、有時間限制、強迫或
合作的方法無法解決衝突，妥協就是個合適的途
徑
E. Collaborating 合作

定義：問題的解決都能符合雙方利益和需求

合作需要雙方武斷(assertive)的態度，也需
要雙方互相配合(cooperative)以求問題的解
決

以個人滿意度的觀點，合作是雙贏的局面；
以關係滿意度而言，合作是正面的結果

合作的需求：
1. 準確的語言溝通(accurate, precise
language)來描述想法和感受
2. 需要用心聆聽他人想法和感受(empathic
listening)
3. 解決問題的途徑：
去分析問題→發展可接受的原則以評斷可
替代的方法→提議可能的解決辦法→選出
最好的方法→努力實施
Scenario 情境

情境A：有個人坐在你隔壁並轉投過來
跟你說 “Wow, does your breath stink!”

情境B：你請朋友買兩張演唱會的票，
一張是你的一張是他的，而且是你出的
錢，但是他說 “I was only able to get
one ticket. Sorry, here’s the money for
your ticket.”
IV. Destructive Behaviors in Conflicts
V. Productive Conflict Management Skills
VI. Communication Skills for Mediating
Conflict
VII. Recovering from Conflict
Management Failures: Understand and
Forgive
英三甲 49712039 黃嬿安
IV. Destructive Behaviors in
Conflicts(衝突中破壞性的行為)
A. Ascribing motives(歸因的動機) : Behavior
in which one assumes that one knows what
another person is thinking or why that person
is behaving in a certain way.
1. Ascribing involves guesswork(猜測) rather
than actual knowledge(實際知識).
2. Ascribing may cause inference confusion.
B. Counterblaming(反責怪): Behavior in
which one moves the focus of an argument
away from oneself by blaming the other
person.
1. Counterblame moves the discussion away
from the original issue and leaves it
unresolved(未解決的).
2. Counterblame can be avoided by refocusing
the discussion on the original issue.
C. Engaging in demand-withdrawal: Pattern
of behavior in which one partner consistently
demands(要求) while the other consistently
withdraws(不再給予).
1. This is a forcing style that nags(不停地抱
怨), blames, or criticizes, while the partner
counters with withdrawal.
2. Unwillingness to discuss leads to more
forcing(強迫).
D. Spiraling negativity: Pattern of behavior in
which both partners in an argument trade
increasingly negative and/or hostile remarks(
敵對的言論).
1. The conversation may degenerate into(惡化
成) poisonous accusations(惡毒的指控).
2. Describing your feelings and refocusing the
discussion can halt(停止) the behavior.
E. Practicing stubbornness(固執): Behavior
that is characterized by unyieldingness(不屈服)
and inflexibility.
1. The desire to maintain face hinders(阻礙)
effective discussion and conflict management.
2. By engaging in a discussion of what you
believe to be the “real” issue—resolving the
conflict or winning the argument—you might
be able to cause your partner to be more
flexible.
V. Productive Conflict Management
Skills(有效用的衝突管理技巧)
A. The primary goal in managing conflict
is to show competence that is both
appropriate and effective.
- Effective behaviors include stating
complete arguments(完整的論點),
elaborating and justifying one’s point of
view(詳細描述和解釋論點), and clearly
developing ideas.
B. Communication Skills for Initiating Conflict
1. Mentally rehearse what you will say before you
confront the other person.
2. Recognize and state ownership of the conflict.
3. Describe the conflict in terms of behavior,
consequences, and feelings (b-c-f).
4. Avoid blaming or ascribing motives.
5. Keep it short.
6. Be sure the other person understands your problem.
7. Phrase your preferred solution in a way that focuses
on common ground(共同點).
C. Communication Skills for Responding to
Conflict.
1. Put your “shields up” rather than becoming
defensive(懷有戒心的) and blindly counterattacking.
2. Respond empathically with genuine interest and
concern.
3. Ask questions to clarify issues and paraphrase your
understanding of the problem.
4. Seek common ground by finding some aspect to
agree with.
5. Ask the initiator to suggest alternative solutions.
VI. Communication Skills for Mediating
Conflict
Mediator(調停者): Mediators can help to resolve conflicts if
they observe guidelines.
1. Make sure that the people having the conflict agree to work
with you.
2. Help the people identify the real conflict.
3. Maintain neutrality.
4. Keep the discussion focused on the issues rather than on
personalities.
5. Work to ensure equal talk time.
6. Focus the discussion on helping the parties find a solution.
7. Use perception checking to make sure both parties fully
understand and support the agreed-upon solution.
8. Establish an action plan and follow-up procedure.

VII. Recovering from Conflict Management
Failures: Understand and Forgive
We can learn from unresolved conflicts.
1. Ask yourself questions: “Where did things go
wrong? “What caused the defensiveness?”
“Did I use a style that was inappropriate?”
2. Analysis puts us in a better position to be
successful the next time.
3. When we forgive by letting go of feelings of
revenge and desire for retaliation, we can
begin to rebuild trust.

電影中的衝突關係
&實況演練
英三甲 49712032 林羿貝
例證
電影－女侍情緣
例證
電影－女侍情緣（分析）
 衝突的類型：
◦ Ego conflicts: 衝突是來自於珍娜跟她老公
無法對事情達成共識，雙方都認為自己才
是對的一方。
 處理衝突的類型：
◦ Withdrawal: 主角珍娜跟她老公都沒有正面
解決他們的婚姻問題，只是逃離衝突現
場。
例證
電影－女侍情緣（分析）
◦ Accommodating: 珍娜在她的婚姻衝突中退
讓，只能靠做派來抒發退讓的鬱悶。
◦ Forcing: 珍娜的老公逼迫珍娜在這場婚姻中
照著他的想法走，不管珍娜接不接受。
 衝突中破壞關係的行為：
◦ Ascribing motives: 珍娜只不過是恍神沒注
意聽她老公講話，卻被她老公罵「漠不關
心」。
實況演練

有一位必定會出現在我們生命中的女
人，那就是我們的母親。妳的母親可能
是這樣的人：在熱切地照顧孩子的同
時，卻忽略了她自己的需求。請說明她
究竟是遇到什麼樣的衝突，並解釋她接
下來所可能面臨的處境。
•Accommodating
•結果：
與孩子保持良好關係。
無法維護個人權利。