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Life Lesson 9: How do I overcome adversity? Use the ABCDE Strategy to build resilience. © Paul T. P. Wong Overview Life is full of suffering Need to develop a tragic sense of life Need realistic stress appraisal Need to understand the Resource- Congruence Model Frankl’s concept of Tragic Optimism The ABCDE Intervention Have a Tragic Sense of Life “In this world you will have trouble.” - Jesus The first noble truth of Buddhism: Life is full of suffering Every life is touched by tragedy Having a tragic sense of life offers you the best preparation for the tragedies of life A tragic sense of life is an effective inoculation against tragedies. What matters most is how you react to adversity. 3 Common Responses to Adversity 1) Catastrophizing: Creating unnecessary anxieties & suffering 2) Trivializing: Ignoring the real danger & believing in delusions 3) Assessing it rationally: Appraising the situation realistically Importance of Appraisal Primary appraisal – Is it neutral, beneficial, or harmful? Secondary appraisal – Is it controllable by self, by others or beyond human control? Reappraisal – Have I under- or overestimated my ability to manage the situation? Resource-Congruence Model Do I have the needed resources (external & internal)? Do I have the appropriate coping responses? If the answer to both is affirmative, then we don’t experience stress A Case of Exaggerated Appraisal: The Process of Catastrophizing Coping with Real Trauma Religious coping Existential coping Re-telling the story Practicing tragic optimism Components of Tragic Optimism (TO) Acceptance of the bleak reality Belief in the value and meaning of life Self-transcendence (altruism) Faith in God and others Courage to face adversity The Power of Acceptance Accept what cannot be changed Accept responsibility not for what has happened but for how to cope Learn to let go in order to move forward Self-transcendence enhances the well-being of both self and others. Courage empowers you to expand your hope beyond the walls that confine you. A Good Example of Tragic Optimism ABCDE Intervention • Accept and confront reality – the reality principle • Believe that life is worth living – the faith principle • Commit to goals and actions – the action principle • Discover the meaning and significance of self and situations – the Aha! Principle • Evaluate the above – the self-regulation principle The Power of Acceptance The Power of Belief Commitment = Passion + Action + Persistence The Joy of Self-Discovery Learning something new about the self and life Digging deeper, exploring further, and higher. Discovering one’s hidden talents and strength. Discovering the power of faith and spiritual resources. Grasping the complexities of life and people. Enjoyment & Evaluation Savoring small successes and re-assessing one’s progress •Feeling relief that the worst is over •Monitoring progress •Savoring the moments of small success •Reflecting and reviewing one’s life •Receiving feedback from others •Conducting assessments and making adjustments Growing Stronger through Struggle Adversity provides a better foundation for life than prosperity.