Transcript Individuality in Twins and Multiples

Individuality
in Twins & Multiples
DR CAROL COOPER
IMBA 2010
www.drcarolcooper.com
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How to get there?
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No multiples are truly identical
Not even if MZ
* DNA
* Genes not always
switched on
* Blood flow
* Other pre-birth
factors
* Irises & fingerprints.
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Why individuality matters
 Social skills
 Language
development
 Healthy competition
 Behaviour
 School performance
 Rewards of parenting
 Adolescence
 Adulthood.
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What we’re up against
 Humans designed to
have one baby at a
time
 Twins & more are cute
 People are fascinated
 Popular expectations
 The “twins-switch”.
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Start before the birth
 Prepare the family
 Get your priorities sorted
 Choose names carefully
 Clothes, etc.
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Is this really ‘William S. Clemens’?
“My twin and I got mixed up in
the bath-tub when we were two
weeks old and one of us was
drowned, but we didn’t know
which. Some think it was Bill
and some think it was me.
One of us had a peculiar mark
– a large hole on the back of
his left hand, but that was me.
That was the one that was
drowned”.
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After they arrive
 Telling them apart
 Try not to label
 Try not to lump
 Use their names
 Make eye contact
 Speak to each baby
individually
 Using the other
senses, eg touch.
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As they grow up
 Address separately and
give attention
 Eye contact
 Reading to each child
 Own clothes
 Own space
 Own toys
 Own birthday
cards/presents.
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It’s not available in stores
 Need for independence
 Exploring
 Creative play
 Feeding themselves
 Dressing themselves
 Other tasks; “being big”
 Chances to be alone.
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“Why, Mummy?”
 Try not to
address one child
all the time (or
first)
 Be patient!
 Repeat as
necessary.
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Life is unfair
 Clothes
 Toys
 Gifts
 Friends
 School
 Growth and health
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What about the rest of the world?
 Other influences on
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your child
Grandparents/rest
of family
Nursery/preschool
Teachers
Friends
Outside activities.
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Some resources
 Twins & Multiple Births – the essential
parenting guide (Carol Cooper)
 Emotionally Healthy Twins – a new
philosophy for parenting two unique
children (Joan A Freidman)
 Parenting School-age Twins &
Multiples (Christina Baglivi Tinglof)
 www.twinsandmultiples.org Covers schoolyears.
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